We desire unconditional love & acceptance. We want to know we are safe to be vulnerable and show the real us and still be loved. Yet, we’ve all been in a loving relationship at some point and felt alone or dissatisfied (could be intimate, friend, or family)? The ability to love unconditionally and love another unconditionally begins with ourselves. Do you love yourself? Are you in a relationship with yourself? Do you spend time with yourself and enjoy it? Do you really look at yourself in the mirror and see the real you? If all of your roles were stripped away, who are you?
I am in a relationship with myself. A long time ago, we broke up and stayed apart for years. Through my desire, healing work and choices, we found our way back to each other. Who am I? My roles include: Wife, Mommy, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Healer, Writer, Teacher, and more. If you strip these all away from me. I am Marni. I love life; all life and my life. I love to laugh and get silly. I love passionately. My innate curiosity fills me with a strong desire to learn. I nurture myself and others. I speak confidently with passion and inspire others. My opinions are strong and I can be stubborn. I tend to be hard on myself. I am NOT perfect and I love that about me. I am sensitive. My eyes fill with tears when I feel emotions of: pure joy/happiness, fear, frustration, belly laughter. I love sports both watching and participating. I love the outdoors and animals. And more.
As I said, I didn’t get here overnight. The healing takes time. What I can tell you is the profound effect loving myself has made in my life, my ability to love, give love and receive love all unconditionally. My relationships improved through my love of myself, finding the strength to be vulnerable consistently, holding my boundaries thus taking care of me and accepting myself and others, warts and all. Am I perfect at this? Go back to the paragraph above. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes, own them, learn from them and move forward. Want to find more happiness in your life? Spend more time learning to love and accept yourself unconditionally. Here are a few suggestions for improving your relationship with yourself:
- Spend 60 seconds and write down all the things you love about yourself (appearance, personality, things you do, etc). Then really look at the list. It doesn’t matter if you only write 1 thing down that you love. Focus on that and more will come. I started with loving my hair and my eyes. I looked in the mirror and told myself I loved my hair and my eyes. Over time I added more until I was ready to look in the mirror and say “I love you” “You are beautiful”
- Make a date with yourself. Dress nicely like you would for a date. Go to lunch, dinner, coffee, a stroll in the park. Talk to yourself and enjoy being you and with you.
- Make a list of things you’d like to do and do them with yourself.
- Learn to meditate. This doesn’t mean you must sit on a cushion for hours quietly, though that works for lots of folks, me included. Use guided meditation if that helps. Try Tapping. Find something to do or a place to sit that allows you to clear your mind of all the busyness within. It might be as simple as washing dishes or going for a run. Quieting the voice of all that is on your plate and connecting with the inner you.
- Talk to yourself and listen to the answer.
- Accept acknowledgements and compliments with grace and a smile. And let go of deflection and self-deprecation. You aren’t being cocky or egotistical. You are loving yourself and accepting recognition. It is okay.
- Daily gratitude prayer/journal/affirmation: whatever you want to call it find something about positive about yourself each day to feel gratitude. I journal some days, pray every day and do affirmations often. It helps. The days I struggle or feel off, I turn to my journal and read what I’ve written and allowing my own words to inspire me that day.
Want to talk about this in more depth and help improve your relationships beyond yourself? Join me at Our Place on Tuesday March 3 from 10am – 12noon. I’ll share more tips for improving your relationship with yourself and with others. Check the classes section www.lovinglylotus.com for more information.
Loving you unconditionally,