Purify and Protect

harmony colorful yin yang

“I feel like I breathe deeper and with a sigh of relaxation when I visit you.” This was a comment I received from my client the other day about my home and office. I told her “You can have this feeling in your home, your car, your office, your property, any space too.” She didn’t believe me until she had me cleanse her home.

When I arrived, I saw her beautiful home and yet something felt stuck inside. As she showed me around, one room felt open and sunny and several others felt tense or closed. When I asked about one tense feeling room, she told me she keeps changing the look to this room and hasn’t been happy with it. She loved the new color she painted the room and yet she still wasn’t happy with it. She recognized something felt off and kept trying to fix it. As I cleansed and protected the house, I taught her some of the basics of cleansing and protection both for herself and for her spaces. When I finished she said, “I feel lighter in my body and my house feels happy. I never noticed it wasn’t before. Now I FEEL harmony and joy here.”

It All Begins With You!

Before you attempt to cleanse your space, you must cleanse and protect yourself. Otherwise you could be streaking mucky or negative vibes throughout the space you are cleansing. You wouldn’t mop your floor wearing muddy shoes, would you? No way. So begin with yourself. One method I teach is using white sage to smudge or cleanse your energy.

White sage (Salvia apiana) is a plant native to high desert ecosystems, and grows prevalently in California. The leaves of the plant are a whitish-green, and if you rub the fresh leaves between your thumb and forefinger, a refreshing, cleansing scent is released. For hundreds of years, white sage has been considered a sacred, cleansing, purifying, and protective plant.

I am not always able to use white sage. When I worked in a corporate office and needed to cleanse myself or my office, I developed additional tools because my office mates told me it smelled like pot and the smell was disturbing. I created a list of powerful alternative solutions so if white sage cannot be used don’t worry. There are other fantastic choices which I will touch on in future blogs.

What Is Cleansing?

Cleansing changes the vibrational energy within you and your space allowing it to flow and harmonize while removing the very energy causing you or your spaces: homes, offices, cars, properties, etc. to feel off. I call feeling off “crunchy”. The range of “crunchy” spans from a mild to a considerable shift in your mood or feelings to pain and disruption.

Cleansing yourself is part of self-care 101. Cleansing, protecting and purifying yourself and your space creates feelings of peace, joy, and ease within you and your place. Purifying your space affects your personal vibes while in and around that space as well as anyone visiting. And any space you visit is affected by the vibrations of all those that came before you. Your vibes (short for vibration) affect your daily life and the people and experiences you attract.

Cleansing your space, protecting it and filling it with good vibes and peaceful energy is a powerful step towards supporting your life’s desires and providing yourself and your home with a feeling of sanctuary.

While working with the same client, she asked “How do I keep myself and my home protected?” Great question. We spoke about protection.

What Is Protection?

Protection keeps you safe. It is a barrier, a shield that keeps your vibrational energy preserved.  Safe from your vibration shifting downward and taking on other people’s stuff (their energy, their feelings, etc). Taking on someone else’s energy feels exhausting. “But I still want to feel and not be a cold fish.”   As I explained to my client, protection doesn’t keep you from feeling. It protects your energy or the energy of your space so you don’t walk into the grocery store happy and leave feeling depressed. That is one of hundreds of examples.

Ever walk into a room where 2 people argued? You didn’t hear them argue yet you can “cut the tension with a knife”. You are feeling negative energy in that moment. Imagine if you walked into the room happy and left feeling some level of discomfort. Perhaps you bump into someone on the way out of the room and the next thing you know you are irritated that person wasn’t looking where they were going and “how rude” they are, etc. Normally, you say excuse me and move on so what happened? Okay so how do you protect your energy?

One form of protection is prayer. What prayer? Any prayer as long as you believe in your heart and soul it protects you. Some examples: Lord’s Prayer, Psalm 23, Serenity Prayer…

It doesn’t have to be a formal widely accepted prayer. Create one and keep it simple and easy to remember. Say it clearly, slow and intentional so you feel its vibration connect inside you.

Create a daily ritual to keep your energy protected cleansing anytime you notice a “crunchiness”, a quick downward shift or just feel off.

Is this resonating? Is your home your sanctuary? Does it ever feel different after a vendor or a friend visits?  Do you want to protect your “happy vibes”?  Are you searching for a longer list of cleansing and protection solutions? Do you want to take any of them for a test drive? If you are saying yes to any of these questions, I Invite you to click on the link to my  workshop  Thursday night April 14th: Cleansing Your Energy and Your Space and RSVP to hold your space.     http://www.meetup.com/Exploring-Your-Body-Emotions-Voice-Through-Chakras/events/229606795/

It is a beautiful world inside and outside of you.  Keep your harmony flowing.

Lovingly Lotus

Did God abandon me?

Have you ever felt lost and abandoned by what you trust, what you know, who you know and what keeps you feeling comfortable in your own skin?

As a young child I soared with happiness.  I lived authentically and in a big way with big energy. I trusted me and the world. I felt connected like an umbilical cord to everything.  And then my world changed.

Thinking back to it, it didn’t seem traumatic.  When I was 8 we moved.  Moved away from friends and family, schools, neighborhood, everything I knew and had known most of my life.   We landed in a place where we knew no one.  They spoke differently. My sister and I were the only Jewish kids in our elementary school. I have an unusual name, Marni, which stuck out. My hair was white blond (and stuck out). I have a loud laugh too.   Not long after we moved, I began developing so I stuck out physically too, as this was early.

Couple me sticking out to even more changes: our new house was broken into and robbed 2 months after we moved in; my Dad was traveling ALOT and no longer home each night; there was a killer in the new county we lived in that was abducting white blonde headed kids, raping and killing them.  That last one panicked my parents.  So instead of enjoying the freedom I had grown up with leaving my house with friends and riding my bike all day.  I was able to go about a block away.  If I went further there had to be a destination and a phone call home when I arrived.

And finally, my new school was a big change from an open room school where I had been working at my own pace and soaring academically to one classroom learning at the same pace as my peers.

Lots of change, right? Feeling free changed. Feeling safe changed.  Feeling accepted changed. Feeling loved changed.  And then the bullying began.   I don’t recall all the particulars.  One day it was my hair.  One day it was my new larger breasts or that I wore a bra.  Two boys threatened to beat me up on the playground because I was Jewish.  Girls who had been my “friends” no longer played with me at recess and either ignored me or joined in with the bullies.

I told my parents and felt shame that I wasn’t having the happy experience I felt they expected.  My parents are loving people and care about me.  They are not perfect.  They told me if I ignored it, the bullying would stop.  It didn’t.  They were getting more and more brutal.  I went to the principal of the school.  He listened to me, told me to develop a thicker skin and try to ignore it.  I began feeling unimportant and invisible. I no longer felt connected.

I began to change. I withdrew.  I escaped into books, writing and tennis.  The outgoing fun loving  social child became quiet and introverted.  The message in my energy was PLEASE DON”T SEE ME.  If you don’t see me, you won’t be mean to me.  I was filled with negative self-talk about my own lack of worth.

Yet, I was angry.  I felt abandoned by everyone in my life that helped me feel secure and safe to be my true happy self including and especially God.

How could God allow this to happen to me? I wondered: If we are all parts of God, how can this be happening?  My self worth was crushed.  I felt invisible to those that could help me and targeted by the kids.  I prayed every way I knew for this punishing experience to end.  Remember I was 8, 9 years old, just a year older than my son is today.   Over time with all that was so out of control in my life and  pushing my feelings to numb, I became bulimic and developed amnesia of sorts.

As I grew up, I healed pieces of me over time.  I sought treatment for my bulimia and that was the first big step in releasing the anger I felt and living more like true Marni.  Learning meditation at treatment uncorked a big chunk of my amnesia and I began remembering who I had been before we moved.    As I healed each of these pieces, I thought this is the BIG ONE.  The one that would bring real Marni back to life completely.

Don’t get me wrong.  I changed a lot after treatment.  The outgoing free and happy Marni began returning.  I began talking to God again. I lived happier and happier.  I met an amazing man that became my best friend and husband.  Yet as much as I understood his love for me, I still questioned it and didn’t fully trust it.  My lack of trust showed up many times an issue escalated between us, I believed he would leave me.  He didn’t say this, yet I went there.

By the time I became aware and owned this was a pattern in me, I stepped into my life as a healer and believed strongly in my connection to the Universe and God and even divine reasons for life experiences. And I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel completely authentic.  Something wasn’t getting through.

BOOM.  Hit over the head.  That is how I felt this past summer when my hubs and I had a big misunderstanding.  I discovered he kept something from me financially.  I went right to my distrust place and assumed he did it with the intent of leaving me.  Fortunately, I searched within me for other possibilities before I went overboard. I learned what he had done was to support me fulfilling my life purpose in the best way he knew how because he believed in me and my ability to help others.  OY.

Why did I go there?  It goes back to my 8/9 year old experiences.  I NEVER grieved for feeling abandoned in my life.  I shut down. Not abandoned by people only, I never grieved for feeling abandoned by God.  The anger I carried around was unconscious anger towards God for the pain and suffering of my childhood and not understanding why I “deserved” it.    Becoming aware of these feelings and their depth rocked my world.  How could I help others and believe all I believe and feel this way?   And yet I did.

My new awareness forged a deeper spiritual connection in me.  I almost always trusted easily on the surface.  Now my trust is much deeper.  I believe everything happens for a reason or as my Grams always said “Out of Shit, You get Flowers”.  And as I look back on my life, God never abandoned me, I abandoned me when my world flipped upside down.  I let go of my faith.

This past summer rocked my world within every aspect of my life.  Nothing went untouched.  Again my faith was tested.  I questioned if I truly believed what I believe and if I did, how could I question it?   I went back to basics of what I know about energy, chakras, faith, love and growth.  I learned: Questioning what you believe is okay.  It doesn’t mean you no longer believe them.  It actually strengthens your belief and your faith. I know when life feels really tough and super yucky, look out, the pain is growth. No different than a kid’s leg or arm growing.  Is it what I would choose? No.  Would you?

Yet believing in my connection to God, that everything happens for a reason and somehow I’m always taken care of…. have gotten me through the most challenging 9 months of my life.  I know when I ask for help it is heard and I give up control as to how and when that help shows up for me.  I do not feel isolated and alone.  I feel connected.

Lovingly Lotus