The Power of Words

Words are soooo powerful.

When I was a kid my Grandma and my Dad used to call me the “da greser”  and my sister “da kleyner”.  Pronounced: (dah graseh = long A and lightly rolled “r”) and (dah klayneh = long A). Loosely translated Greser is Yiddish for bigger, older, greater  while Kleyner was little, younger, smaller.

Well at the time, I learned the meanings of these words, I was not in love with me.  So what I heard was the BIGGER sister and the SMALLER sister.  Oy vey! Those words had HUGE power over me and I heard and took all this to mean I was FAT, HUGE, BIG, LARGE.

Here is a picture of me at that time, standing behind a friend’s younger brother.

Surprising?

Words HAVE POWER.  Did my family mean for me to believe I was BIG and FAT? No.  But what you say to yourself has HUGE power and how you CHOOSE, yes, CHOOSE, to take in the words from people (especially ones you care about) have huge power over you too.

I defined myself  at this point in my life as the BIG one, the FAT one even when I wasn’t FAT.

My parents and grandparents loved me, adored me.  They had ZERO intention of hurting me or saying anything that would derail me or have such a negative impact in my life.  But there was a lot going on in my young 8-9 year old life and the free spirit I had been just a year before disappeared quickly.

Here is a pic during a recent adventure  with the love of my life .  I’m definitely larger.  The difference between how I saw myself then and now?  I am in love with me.  I’m happy.  I’m beautiful.  I love my body. I take care of myself meditating, exercising and mostly eating nutritiously and I’m healthy. I live in gratitude (most days). I would definitely love to release some weight yet I live my life enjoying the journey and not waiting for that day of what used to be my belief of “perfection”.

How do you get there? You learn how to use the power of words to help YOU fall in love with yourself.  It doesn’t mean you’ll never have a bad day or get triggered.  What it means is you are so in love with yourself you can keep going even after you stumble or fall.  You show yourself compassion.  You become aware of the words you think about yourself and how you speak TO yourself and about yourself.

I’m real about what I ‘m super great at and what is just not my strong suit.  Yet, I don’t say I SUCK at _____.   I do my best and ask for help when I need it.  We all have our unique abilities and areas of day to day living where ya just need support.  It’s really okay.

Read these out loud with enthusiasm and make note of  how you feel saying each one:

I love you!

I hate you!

Your tush is too big!

You are soo skinny.

You are gorgeous!

You are loud.

That wasn’t nice.

You are so sweet.

I suck at this.

You are powerful.

You are the big sister.

You are the older sister.

What did you notice?  Did you feel better with the compliments? OR did you struggle to believe them?   Did you dislike the put downs or feel agreement with them?

Now try this one.  Loud and Proud.  Say:  I am in love with me!

Can you say it out loud? Can you smile when saying it? Do you believe it? In your head? In your heart?

I hear friends, family and client’s talk about themselves sometimes and just feel for them cringing as I hear the way they put themselves down unconsciously or deflect sincere compliments.  Those are sure signs you may not be in love with you.  And I often ask if they would speak to someone else that way. Almost everyone says NO WAY!  “So what makes it okay to speak to yourself like that?”

Do any of these sound familiar:

  • Filled with self doubt (often or compartmentalized consistently)
  • Looking for love outside of you to fill you up and make you feel whole (emotionally and sexually)
  • Difficulty having and holding boundaries
  • Difficulty receiving compliments
  • Addicted to Drama or drama follows you constantly
  • Indecisive
  • Speak down to yourself or about yourself
  • complain often

If you said yes to any of these (I used to say yes to them all so don’t be shy here), most likely you are not in love with yourself.

Lack of love for yourself has the POWER to change your life.  Let’s rephrase that: Falling in Love with yourself has the SUPER POWER to change your life; shift how you feel inside and out; change how you experience day to day living situations and relationships.

The power of words is one SUPER TOOL I use in collaboration with powerful energetic healing to help clients begin falling love with themselves.

You were born as part of love and so you are LOVE.  As you grow, you hear words and learn about conditions and you create beliefs about yourself that are not true.  You can reframe these self laws and change them.  You have the POWER!!

Begin one word at a time.  Set an intention to become aware of how you speak to yourself (and how you think about yourself).  Get real.  Be honest.  Awareness is a HUGE key in the work I do.  You cannot change what you are NOT aware of.

Once you are aware of it, change can begin.  Pick ONE belief at a time.  Change it.  Reframe it so it is stretching your system making you a little uncomfortable and yet you see the possibility of it being true.   And work with that one until you believe in your heart and soul your new belief .  And then keep going taking it deeper.

It is SO possible.  I am living proof as are my clients.

I know you will see and feel changes in your life and your experiences.  You will create a feeling of lightness filled with joy.

And should you want support, I am here for you.  I am on a mission to help as many people as I can fall in love with themselves.  So I invite you to connect with me and ask.  It is a attribute of strength to know when you need support and ask for it.

I LOVE YOU!!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Marni

 

 

 

 

I Am Always The Strong One

I am always the strong one.  At least that is the illusion I told myself.  I am the one who remains clear headed and calm while the chaos ensues around me.  I’m the one that handles the crisis during the crisis.  The cost is I don’t get to my feelings until much later after the chaos becomes calm. 

After the crisis and before I get to my feelings, I am cranky, bitchy, nitpicky.  And when I let loose, it is like my insides are falling out of me.  I cry tears that could fill the oceans.  I sob out loud and I just let go.  And man, am I tired when I’m finished.  It takes so much energy to hold up the world and keep it together when I just want to cry in that moment.  But if I did, then I wouldn’t be the strong one. Or would I?

This is how I grew up.  This was the role I created for myself.  My unique ability.  My “look at me and what I can do talent”.  The action I took for approval and love.  What I felt I had to do to be loved.  Yet, I was already loved.  Loved before conception, loved the second I was conceived, the moment I came into this body on this earth.  I am love. 

Somewhere along the way, I learned being dependable was strong and approved (approval = love) and showing lots of emotion was judged as weak.  So, funny, I live my life in a colorful world mixing colors constantly.  Yet for this huge decision, I looked at only 2 choices, black or white.  My fear erased color and with it possibilities. 

I did such a good job playing my “strong one” role that when I shared my feelings with loved ones and began taking off my mask, they responded with “you can handle it, you are strong”.  Often, that made me super angry to hear.  I wanted the perceived nurturing I saw going to the “weak”.  The rescuing.  I wanted to be rescued. 

And so I tried my hand at being a victim.  I didn’t get the reaction I wanted.  I received tough words and tough love. And that made me angry and kicked off more fears about me not being loved.  A self-fulfilling prophecy?

Life is about possibilities, endless possibilities.  Today I am still great in a crisis with my feelings hanging out or running down my face.  I allowed myself to see other possibilities.  I no longer have HUGE releases after a crisis that drain me of energy.  I gave myself permission to feel in the moment.  I am the strong one because I allow myself to feel and express my vulnerability without becoming a victim.

And I am grateful for this beautiful awareness.  I am grateful for the times I believed in the illusion.  And I am so grateful to know the difference.   This awareness I pass on to my son.  Feel your feelings, acknowledge them.  Crying is a release.  Admitting you are sad, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, AFRAID, doesn’t make you weak…it is what you do next that becomes your story.  Do you become a victim of woe is me or do you keep moving, find gratitude and live your life, human, vulnerable and strong?

How do you begin reframing what you believe and your behaviors? I’ll share with you what I discovered. My magic powers I’ve used for years…

First you become aware.  Then you create an intention.  How do you want to embrace your life or a specific aspect of it.  Stick with something that stretches your comfort zone and yet you believe it is possible.  Sometimes it is your intention that helps grow your awareness.  And then develop an affirmation, an I am statement.  Something in your own words that you desire and can believe.  Both your intention and affirmation may be works in progress.  That is absolutely okay. 

And finally, gratitude.  When I live in gratitude, my fears are quieter.  It doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but fear doesn’t get so loud that it controls my life.  And when it does, I discover I have forgotten my gratitude.

I realize this may sound too easy or possibly lame depending on your perspective.  All I know is it works.  It works in my life.  And I have the incredible delight of witnessing it change the lives of my clients.

I sit in gratitude almost daily focusing on an intention and affirmation to guide me or grow me that day.  And sometimes I have the same intentions and affirmations for a few weeks as I allow myself to change.  My gratitude notebook goes everywhere with me in my purse.  When I feel something, I write it down.  And when I’m struggling, it helps me remember.  Some days it might be gratitude that I am breathing or the sun is shining. 

I realize this seems so simple. How could something this simple change your life? Try it consistently and watch yourself soar.  And if you dare enough to try it, write to me and tell me how your life is changing.  I want to dance in celebration for you and with you.