Has anyone ever asked if you are “present”? What does it mean to be “present”? It means to be aware and involved in the moment you are experiencing RIGHT NOW! It is focusing on who you are with and what you are doing as you are doing it. It means not focusing on what comes next, worrying about the future, “how am I going to get this done”. Have you ever gone on vacation, been out for a wonderful evening, thought about parts of your past and had little to no memory of specific events? Do you know why? Most likely you were not present.
This morning my six year old son got on a bus to a brand new school beginning the next chapter of his school career in first grade. I cried beneath my sunglasses as the school bus went down the road. I am so happy for him and his beautiful independence and confidence. I am emotional realizing another chapter has closed and a new one begins. So I had moments remembering things that have occurred that will not happen again. And with all my emotion, I am happy and grateful I have amazing memories. Memories of things he said, things he has done or we’ve done as a family during this last chapter and all the previous ones. That reminds me of something my Dad told me on my wedding day.
He said “stop for a moment before you walk down the aisle. Tell yourself, I will remember this and then pause and look around. Take in the moment.” You know I did that. As excited and nervous as I was that day, I remember SO much of it. Thank you Dad. Just as much as I know I’ll remember yesterday watching my son go to the fridge and be able to reach a higher shelf, grab the milk and take it to the table, pour more in his glass and return the carton to the fridge. I was in awe. I told myself, I will remember this. And I will.
I was really busy yesterday getting the house put back together, getting stuff ready for the first day of school and more. But taking those two minutes to see him do this simple and yet amazing pouring task (one of the first times on his own) will stay with me forever because I was present. Think of all the experiences or words you may be missing by not being present or by half listening and looking at emails or texting, etc.
Connection between us is so important. We are social creatures. Everyone wants to be heard and yet so many of us are “multi-tasking” during conversations that we often don’t feel heard. The listener may miss valuable nonverbal cues or even spoken information that can lead to disagreements, disgruntledness and even Drama. Stay with each other. Listen with the intent to just listen. Don’t let the razzle dazzle of someone walking by or noises outside distract you. You’ll be amazed how something this simple can change your life at home, at work and all your relationships.
Stay Present, Keep Listening. With immense gratitude for allowing to me share this especially today. This truly helped me,