Tag Archives: self-esteem

How Do You Get What You Want?

Have you ever wanted to do something for yourself so much and yet come up with many obstacles that keep you from that very thing?

Things like: change jobs/careers; shift relationships; improve body image; try a new activity that stretches you; travel; date someone that didn’t exactly fit every box, yet the most important dealbreakers were met; Say no;

I have experienced this myself. Obstacles are resistance. Resistance is energetic fear, blocking us from moving forward.

I used to name it. Give a list of all the things getting in the way. All my obstacles: Time, Money, geography, my family beliefs, are common.

I’ve had prospects and even some clients that are hiders. Someone who doesn’t show up for an appointment or respond to texts or emails.

Either way the resistance, the fear, is going to keep you stuck. Stalled in the very thing you were trying to wrench free from.

Time, Money, Geography for me were also ways of saying “I don’t value myself enough to spend the time, the money or drive for X.  Most of us have resistance at one time or another. It’s change. And change can be scary. It is different. It is stretching our comfort.

Resistance can be SUPER obvious.

*Do you ever cancel or not show up at the last minute for appointments or with family & friends?

*Are you a self-sabotager?

*Do you believe life has to be hard?

*Do you struggle to say no?

*Do you struggle with comparing yourself/your career/your family to others and then get anxious or depressed or upset that some how you aren’t measuring up?

*Do you get lost in “other activities” instead of the ones that will bring about the very thing you desire most in your life?

These are just a few to get you started.  Truth is there are so many obstacles and resistances out there, it is a wonder any of us push forward.

So how?  How do you move forward when you are engaged in resistance?

First above all else: BE WILLING! Being willing to move past your resistance brings about more ease than fighting with yourself.  Next become aware: are of what you are feeling, sensing, thinking.  You cannot change what you aren’t aware of.  And face your resistance.  Call it out.  Name it.  And then ask WHY?  Ask: How is this keeping me comfortable?  What would happen if I faced this fear anyway? Is it keeping me comfortable? Am I ready to let this go so I can move forward?

When you become aware of your own energy: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually on a consistent basis, awareness becomes easier.

This is as easy as getting in the habit a few times a day (wake up, midday, evening, bedtime) asking yourself:
How do I feel? Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually.  Take time to scan your body from the top of your head and the outside as well as the inside of your body…all the way down through your throat, your belly, to your feet and toes.  And note, how you feel at wake up.  Next check in, did anything change?

What changed?   What did you experience before the change?

Another way to get to awareness is through a mindfulness practice.  1 minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes…any of them will bring about clarity.  Whether you are walking with intention, sitting in meditation, focused on the feel of a key in your hand, etc.

And after creating awareness, what would happen if instead of blocking the thing you want, you faced the fear, faced the obstacles. I know this may sound crazy…how about embrace the change. Embrace the resistance. Give it a hug.
I know when I do this, it feels vulnerable-exposed-sometimes raw. Yet I also know from my own experience, the thing that is the obstacle becomes smaller. Weird I know.

With potential clients or clients – to -be, I know this means they are tapping in to something they are ready to move past. Whether they work with me or it feels more aligned for their needs for me to refer them, ultimately it is about supporting them through this moment, help them gain awareness and inner wisdom around this so they can claim this THING they want so badly.

And yes, they do hide from me at times too. Each is different so I cannot tell you exactly what I do each time. I listen to my intuition.
I get frustrated because I want them to achieve that THING (whether it is with me or not) and see them blocking themselves.

And I reach out so they know, I’m here when they are ready to step in and say yes to releasing the block.

Sometimes getting caught up in our stuff, we need the support of someone else to see things more clearly and work it through with us.  I know that is why I work with someone.  And I know that is what my clients get from me.

Resistance and Obstacles get a bad rap, yet I know for me and with all my clients, R&O showing up means you are getting stirred up and that sh#t is ready to move out.
How do you deal with resistance & obstacles?

XO 

PS.  If this is something you want to speak about further, my invitation to you is to invite me into a conversation with you.

Scarcity or Abundance?

Had a convo with a new friend recently. We were at a local spot with a community board. As I went to grab a napkin, I noticed a couple of colleague’s cards on the board. And shared with her, I was excited to see people I knew.

My new friend, jokingly suggested, I take out the competition and pull their cards down. Now she was honestly kidding when she said it. This is something I would never even think of doing, though I know there are folks out there that do. No judgement. Seriously. It is just where they are in this experience we call life.

Continue reading Scarcity or Abundance?

Taking the STING out of Conflicts

So the other day I was sharing a story my son’s day  at camp with a friend.  And she was struck by the way he handled a conflict with a friend.

A day or two before Eli had been called a name by this friend.  He handled the conflicts as most 9 year olds would and even lots of us adults.  He was upset.  So he got a counselor involved.

The next day he and the friend kind of avoided each other.  And Eli was still upset thinking the friend didn’t like him anymore.

I’m so grateful he shares this with me and Marc so we can counsel him.  So I asked him a few questions:

 

  1. What is the story you are writing?   You know the one I mean? The one that hasn’t happened yet.  The one that is projecting from your Ego/FearVoice/Inner Critic?

*Writing a story or ASSUMING what will happen shifts your energy and the energy of the situation.  REMEMBER: Energy follows Energy

This type of thinking can bring about increased stress, anxiety, depression, anger and yet- NOTHING has happened YET.

Try not to be mad at the fear voice.  It is only trying to protect you and keep you safe.  Instead give it gratitude.  Thank it for having your back.  And then tell it.  I’m SAFE.  Please get quieter so I can hear my Heart/Intuitive voice.

This is the voice that won’t steer you wrong.  It leads from LOVE.

Now Eli, had already decided his friend was done with him.  They were not friends.  And he decided that if Eli approached the friend he would not be received.

So we role played with each other and with his stuffed animals.  We did some silly ones, some funny ones, some angry ones and some positive outcome ones.  And Eli began to see the story hadn’t been written… YET.

2.  The next question I asked him “What from your past hurts is feeding your worries. ”  Can you think of another time when you felt this same way? OR When the story you are writing came true?

Now Eli has been doing a tremendous healing around an incident that happened a couple of years ago when a man in charge of his Tae Kwon Do after school program physically threatened him.  So he was able to speak his feelings about this AND the bullying by the older kids in the program who tortured him while the adult provided no protection or solace.

He connected TRUST and his own CONFIDENCE were the wounds contributing to the story writing.

3.  Next I asked him: Where is your power when you write these stories?  Where is your trust and confidence?

He is so cute.  He said “Mommy, I give away my power when I don’t trust myself and God to help me and that makes me feel not confident. And Mommy, you taught me energy follows energy.  So I’m bringing my energy down when I could TRUST myself and God which will give me the power and confidence to do something different.”

I have to admit my eyes welled up with tears at this point.  It has been a short, yet long 2 year journey filled with some scary shit. So to hear him say all this was beautiful and such a testament to his amazingness and the POWER LOVE has in healing.

4.  We spoke about his options of what he could do the next day.  All of it being his choice.  Do nothing.  Ask a counselor to help him speak with the friend.  Speak with the friend on his own using a powerful technique called “I statements”.  And more.

BEFORE making this decision, I asked him to sit with this.  Think back to the time you’ve spent with this friend BEFORE the conflict.  Is this someone you really enjoyed?  Did you feed each other’s energy? Did you have fun? Was there a mutual respect until the conflict?  And if you could have the outcome you desire, what would it be?

Marc and I told him this was his to decide and there was NO right and NO wrong.  We’ve both tried many of these things with great outcomes and shitty outcomes.  He had to really feel this out.

So here is what he did: He found the friend and asked if they could speak (BIG ASS COURAGE for my guy).  The friend agreed.

Then Eli used the POWER of “I” statements.

 

 

When you do _____

I feel _____

Because ____ (vulnerable)_____

Self reflective share

And then he gave his friend an opportunity to do the same.  Though at 9, his friend didn’t know what to do.  So he asked Eli if they could move forward and be friends.  And Eli being the forgiving soul he is, said YES.  And off they went.

The “I” statement takes the  sting out of confrontation while you stay in your power during a conflict.  And provides an easy to maneuver conversation aiding in coming to resolution.  All involved are seen and heard through this SUPER POWER tool.

The keys in conflict is know you are getting stirred up by your wounds, your fears.  If possible finding space to calm, breathe and discern the answers to the questions I asked Eli will help you process.

And the “I” statement during confrontation, conflict, in the heat of the moment…helps empower you and the other person.  It keeps you from going below the belt and provides the beginning of a map to communicating through the conflict and synergizing a solution.  And that takes the STING out.

Look, none of us is perfect.  And we aren’t here in this life to be perfect.  It’s about learning, experiencing and loving while we are here.  You are going to make mistakes, you are going to make bad choices.  You can drown in them or choose to learn from them.

Free will baby, it’s all about choice.
XO

What is Happy and What is Love? How do you know?

What is love?   What is happiness? 

This is what was on my mind after I meditated this morning.  So today I’m going to free write my answers and share them with you.  Why? Because I believe these are the 2 most important topics of life.  And I’m on a mission to help bring more love into the world.  So here goes:

Happiness comes from love.  Happiness is something that you create in your mind and in your heart.  You tap into it even on the days you feel like your world is crashing down around you.  Happiness doesn’t mean you always have a smile plastered to your face.  It is a state of being.  Knowing in your mind and in your heart that even when the shit hits the fan and you are sad or angry about life happenings, somehow you still feel happiness inside you and in your life. 

That may sound weird to some people.
  Maybe to everyone.  Maybe it doesn’t even sound real.  But it is.  I know.  I have been that person with life crashing down and not knowing what to do and feeling overwhelmed and yet I still knew I am a happy person dealing with some uncomfortable or shitty situations.  It sounds weird rereading what I wrote..maybe even unreal. 

How do I better explain? Happiness doesn’t mean I never get mad or sad.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t cry or feel pain.  I do.  Yet somehow I also have hope and faith.  I struggle with my hope and faith at times and I have my pity parties and get my dark emotions out and yet I still turn around and know I am happy. 

Maybe it is because I know that the discomfort I am going through is temporary even when it feels like it is going on forever.  I don’t know when it works out or how but I trust somehow it works out for my greatest good.  That doesn’t mean I sit and watch my life go by.  I actively participate supporting my intentions and life affirmations bringing about life prosperity.  Yet Shit happens.  It does.  I cannot control anyone or everything.  Each of us has free will.

I live most days in gratitude, yet I have moments and days I fall off the wagon.  And still I consider myself happy.  

Five ways to know you are happy: Keep in mind this is about consistency and NOT PERFECTION.

  1. You smile from the inside out: not necessarily daily more like consistently and not like it is plastered to your face and fake.  A real joyful smile coming from inside you and emanating out of you.  So much so, you don’t even realize you are smiling at times and people naturally smile back at you.
  2. Even when you are going through difficult times, you have hope that your life will get better.  
  3. You can see and accept yourself warts and all most of the time and you give this same acceptance to your inner circle of loved ones.
  4. You consistently laugh.  Maybe not daily, but almost everyday you find something amusing.  Laughter is hugely important to happiness
  5.  You live life in the present and enjoy. Worrying creates more to worry about and doesn’t change anything.  Just take action where you can.

So if Happiness comes from love, what is love? Love for me is the feeling of acceptance and pure delight.  It is loving my imperfections and all of me which makes me, ME.  And doing the same for other people.  Does that mean I like everything about everyone? No, not even myself.  And yet, I accept those things I dislike about myself and about people I love because I love them.  I’m not talking about things that hurt people, drastic stuff.  I’m talking about the imperfections that make us human and at times drive us crazy, if we allow it.  Some of it is how we choose to experience it.  There was a time in my life I would say if only ____ would change ____, then we would be happier. That is NOT an example of acceptance or DEEP LOVE.  

That is the thinking that keeps us stuck and in the same motions over and over and over.  Living out repetitive patterns in many of our relationships.  YUCK. 

Love for myself: I am my best friend.  I enjoy time with me.  I am loud and big energy.  I love to laugh. I have a sharp tongue, very little filter, a “truck driver’s mouth”  and a sharp temper all with my  HUGE heart.  My loved ones know, I will drop anything to be there for you.  I trust easily until it is broken and then it is hard for me to trust again.  I’m getting better at forgiveness.  My son is great at it and I’m learning from him.  Boundaries with strangers are super easy; with loved ones they are harder, yet they are necessary to take care of me.  I am in a progressive state of love with my body after many years of war.  I love my hair and the way my green eyes change color.  I love not looking my age.  I’m NOT PERFECT.  I aim to do the best I can and be the best me I can be at any given moment and that changes from time to time.  I love me.  And saying that and meaning it down to my core, makes me happy.

 

I agree with the Dali Lama about life. Life for me is about the journey of love and happiness. 

XO

 Ask me about this…

Lost Luggage, Lost love

I recently traveled for vacation with my 8 year old son meeting my hubby in Minneapolis.  A short time before our flight boarded, the flight was canceled.  No crew.  We thankfully made it to the TOP of the list for the next flight to fly standby.  When we agreed to fly standby, the airline rep told us, our bag would be going on this flight whether we made it or not.  FAMOUS last words.  We made it.  Our bag did not.  And I was reminded of the only other time my luggage was “delayed” and the difference inside ME today.

Just over fifteen years ago, PM (pre-Marc), I took a trip to Aruba with one of my besties.  One of the things I LOVE about my bestie, she is laid back, go with the flow, creates fun and lives in the moment.  Well, at the time, I thought I was like this too.  And I was to a degree, yet inside me I was still a work in progress as we all are.  I remember sharing with my friend about all the recent big changes and belief shifts in my life.  You know, like, I meditated.  At the time I had an inconsistently consistent mindful practice and while I received benefit from my inconsistent practice, some of what spurred me to share was about being “on trend”.  I engaged in intuitive energy healing.  My intuition sharp and clear while in TRUTH, my trust of myself was spotty.  I was more patient, more calm.  True.  And I loved myself.  YES.   Yet, I still felt unsatisfied in areas of my life.  Okay, I did NOT admit to myself let alone anyone else about any incomplete feelings.   I believed it was my outer stuff: my hair, my clothes, my body, my job, my finances were still the root cause to my life dissatisfaction. I mean I did the work, I loved myself.  So it couldn’t be that.  But my love for me  wasn’t full body, mind, heart, soul and psyche, feeling amazing inside love consistently.  So the thought that my STUFF: hair dryer, makeup, the “perfect bathing suit” and comfy great looking on me clothes would be missing caused me great anguish which spread from my psyche to my experience quickly.  Body stuff had been “getting me” on some level since I was a kid and developed early.

As a recovering bulimic, I was so NOT COMFORTABLE with the idea of having to find something to wear with limited choices.  My fears of finding “clothes I looked cute in” outweighed fun.

I kept it inside and attempted to “go with the flow”.  It didn’t work at all.   My friend went out and I stayed in the room trying to get information from the airline on where my bag was and when I could expect it.  I had looked forward to this trip for weeks and I was spending it chaining myself in the room.  I figured once I knew when I’d have my stuff, I’d be able to have fun (interpret as allow myself to have fun).

That evening I left the room to go to dinner.  My bestie made a comment about how for all my sharing about my life shifts, my behavior didn’t match up.  Wow, did that hurt.  That is what I love about my friend.  She didn’t say it to hurt.  She said it quite compassionately.  It hurt because it was TRUE.  And I loved myself enough to recognize the outer turmoil I experienced because of my lack of deeper self love.

I did go out after that and uncomfortably purchased: a dress, shorts and t-shirts, underwear and a bathing suit.  I made do for our time there as my luggage never showed up.  And I had fun, yet I lost a day and half of enjoying Aruba due to not fully loving myself on a fuller body, mind, heart, soul and psyche level.  And believe me, I’d done ALOT of work on liking and loving myself.  Therapy, books, classes, etc.   I was feeling better than ever about myself.  My lack of self love at a deeper level propelled me to give in to fear.  Fear about how I looked, fear about how I would fit in on the trip, fear about the money I spent on necessities being reimbursed and more. This experience showed me I still had healing work to do and it was time to level up. Learning to love me was not a one and done experience.

Apparently my luggage was partying in Mexico and arrived a bit hung over at my house about 3 hours after I arrived home from Aruba.  Then the specialty vacation airline gave me a hard time about reimbursement at a time when my finances were more limited. Really? I was on an island.  I had limited choices and certainly didn’t spend thousands.  This was one of my fears come to life about purchasing necessities.  I was still dealing with this weeks later when I met the love of my life, Marc, my husband.  It did all work out. But I digress…

So back to the present story.  We arrived in Minneapolis just after 3pm, much later than the 10am we were expected.  Truly happy to be there.  Found my hubs in baggage claim.  He told us the luggage had not arrived.  I thought he was kidding.  That is so his sense of humor.  He wasn’t kidding.  And immediately my Aruba experience flashed back.  Not out of fear at all.   I actually laughed aloud when I thought of it.  That is no longer my story.  That is not who I am.  I love me so many levels deeper than my time in Aruba.  It was just STUFF.  Sure, it would be a pain to have to replace it if my luggage didn’t show, but chances are it would arrive at some point.  And then my WHY for being in Minneapolis spoke up.   I am here with my family to enjoy quality time together.  We will buy clothes if we need to and we will figure it out.  Regardless, we will have fun and enjoy this adventure even if it is in the same stinky clothing.  So, we filed our claim with the airline and went on our way.

Before bed wearing one of Marc’s t-shirts, we checked and still no status on where our luggage was.  OK.  The next morning  we got up did what my sister calls a “CWBath” (the genitals, the face and the pits) and left the hotel.  First stop coffee at Starbucks.  2nd stop Marshall’s for a few essentials to change our clothes.

Arrived back at the hotel, changed clothes and checked the luggage tracker.  Good news.  Luggage found, placed on 8am flight out of Charlotte arriving in Minneapolis by 10am.  Then it takes up to 12 hours for delivery.  I shrugged and we moved on with the adventure of the day not giving luggage another thought.  Fortunately it was warmish and my FIT FLOPS,  which I wore on the flight, were comfy for walking.  We walked all over downtown exploring.

We had a blast making memories and laughing all day and decided to grab takeout and head back to our room for a late supper.  Just as we sat down to eat (about 915pm), the phone rang and YES, our luggage had arrived.  We looked at each other and laughed saying “we’ll get that after we eat”.  No rush.  I didn’t even unpack til the next morning.

I was thrilled at my shift and the freedom I could so clearly see and feel.  The difference today is I know the outer shit doesn’t matter.  Not the clothes, not the finances, not anything.  And not because anyone else says it doesn’t matter, but because I truly believe it. Why doesn’t it matter? Because I am in love with myself .  My feeling of wholeness is so complete, I could simply be in the moment.  When dissatisfaction or diminished enjoyment impact any area of your life, the very first thing you must learn how to do is love yourself.  Not the BLAH BLAH love yourself.  The whole body, mind, heart, soul and psyche feeling amazing on the inside kind of love yourself. This is the key to greater happiness, greater success and greater satisfaction in life.  That is the journey of this great adventure we call life. Only one other person I know could appreciate this beautiful story, I called my bestie and gave her a great chuckle.  And the rest is history.

BIG LOVE and GRATITUDE,

Marni

I struggle

What am I going to write about? The time I struggled and showed my ass by behaving like I’d lost my mind? There are moments I feel like I’m part of the circus or better yet starring in a sit-com.  My life is far from always being full of laughter though we laugh a lot in our family.

I get tired of taking everything so seriously.  So I put on a pair of “TV glasses” and see what each situation I’m worried about, frustrated with, pissed about, and enjoying would like through the camera of a sit-com.

I discovered this solution when Eli was an infant.  I was alone and changing his diaper.  He stuck one foot in poop, then another, then his hand.  Somehow it got on my hands too.  I was by myself at home.  And as a new mom, I began to panic.  How do I figure this out? How do I get my son and myself clean without getting poop everywhere.  Every idea I thought of resulted in me seeing my son ending up falling to the floor.  All the tools I needed were in other rooms,  The thought of carrying poop from room to room with a dog and three cats standing by to enter the fray filled me with more anxiety.   My body tensed and tightened.  And then Eli began to cry.  Big surprise, right?  And then as he wriggled in more poop, for a split second I imagined my reaction if I was watching this on TV.  What was the big deal? And I began to laugh.  And as I laughed and my body loosened, Eli calmed and smiled.  I have no idea how, but somehow I cleaned us both pretty quickly and easily.  And from then on, I pulled out my “TV Glasses” during life situations.  Any caregivers out there ever experience similar situations?

Which brings me to a few days ago when again I was struggling, frustrated and a little scared.  Instead of picturing the sitcom, I cried.  I disagreed with my producer for my upcoming radio show and participated in unnecessary arguing drama.  I was not fit for human consumption and I felt it in my body. I reflected on all my “life plates” I keep spinning, my to dos.  Are these life or death “plates”? Nope.  What will happen if I don’t get EVERYTHING done? Nothing.  What am I afraid of?

Truth? Falling on my face which is FAILING. Yet even as I say that most of me is not afraid.  I know in the deepest part of me, even if I fall on my face there is a reason.  I know the experience will provide me with an opportunity.  Now truth be told.  It isn’t comfortable to fail.  So I don’t know of anyone who runs out and says Yes, I’ll choose Failure.  What I know is if I don’t choose change,  which comes with risks, and pushing out of what is comfortable, I stay stuck.

Complacency becomes another word for stuck.  Don’t make waves. Status quo.   Don’t ask a tough question because of what might happen.  Did you know stuck means you don’t get to experience the fantabulous either?

Self-esteem plays a huge role in your willingness to embrace change.  Change can have ALOT of unknown and unfamiliar feelings and factors.  So of course complacency will feel better in some aspects because you know it.  And you know your outcomes even if they are painful.

So here I go taking another leap:  1) I premiered my radio show heard globally   2) I stopped part of my business marketing which I believed until recently was the largest draw for meeting new clients.   I do not know what I’m doing next to grow my community.   I trust it will be revealed soon (there was a bit of GULP the first time I said that)  3) I am continuing to lovingly detach as a parent (more on this in future articles). Providing my son opportunities to grow and fail (as safely as I can)  4) I am visibly emerging with  live videos on social media, radio, joint ventures with other healers 5) I am learning how to do my radio show from my computer and all the mechanics and marketing (there are at least 10 things here I don’t know)  6) I am allowing in my relationship with Marc instead of listening to the voice telling me to “drive the train”.  With more leaping each week and sometimes daily.

And while some days it feels harder and some days I fail.  I am still happy everyday.  And more and more consistently, I feel an ease and a joy.  I feel a freedom like I did as a kid riding my bike super fast with the wind blowing my hair kicking my feet out as I went down a huge hill and yelling WHEEEEEEE!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Marni

 

Please tune in tomorrow at 9am Eastern & join us in the conversation. You will learn, laugh & be inspired to grow.

Are you familiar with the word chakra and what it is? I invite you to join my touching and sometimes humorous conversation about chakras with Paula Vail of For the Love of Reiki.

Source: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/95900/chakras

Learning to Fly

learning-to-fly

I clearly heard words from Tom Petty: “I’m learning to fly. But I ain’t got wings.”

What does this mean? I’m learning to fly and soar.  I don’t have wings and yet I can fly anyway.  When I’m high and soaring in my power, I used to bring myself down because I felt somehow I didn’t deserve my joy or success.

This was a pattern, a rollercoaster in my life.  Up, down, up, down.  Plain exhausting and frustrating.  I couldn’t figure it out.  I thought I was doing ALL THE RIGHT THINGS.  And yet, somewhere in me lurked this feeling of “I didn’t deserve” or “I am a fraud”.  Have you ever sabotaged your success?

It came out in my relationships, my marriage, my parenting, my business and my weight/nutrition/exercise.  It consistently showed up while I was “on a roll”.

This was, of course, after working on and healing my lack of self-esteem.  I love myself.  I am confident.  I lead a fairly balanced life.  I take time for self care.  Yes, I’m not perfect but I was no longer this person who felt unworthy.

It didn’t make sense to me on an energetic level either.  I know what I feel  and think affects my vibes.  I know my vibes attracts people and experiences into my life. So if you are soaring, how could I begin to fall?

So I immediately recognized my pattern and thought “What is going on?  I am so done with this sh#t already.  Why is THIS coming up?” And the more I didn’t want to look at it, the more often I repeated the pattern.  And I got pissed.  Do you ever think “why does this keep happening?” OR “I’m tired of this.”

I’ve never been one who likes to REDO things (unless they are what I deem SUPER FUN).  So imagine how much I really wanted to repeat the same pattern OVER and OVER? Nada! What an energy drain.  Right?

This is what happens when I am not paying attention or not wanting to pay attention to messages in my life.  The message for me in hearing this song: Marni, it is time to Heal and FREE yourself of this cycle. Shifting my beliefs, my feelings and my vibes.  How did I know this? I heard it through my spirit, my intuitive trust and gifts (that is another story).

You might be confused at this point.  I sure was.  Didn’t I already heal my sh#t? Well, yes and yes.  Healing is like a snake’s skin.  It comes about in layers.  You shed a layer when you are ready to evolve, grow or just experience life from a new and/or deeper perspective, seeing more possibilities, expanding your comfort zone and letting go of what no longer serves you with gratitude for what it provided.

The old me would’ve already been in Numbland by this point.  Either binging and purging when I was bulimic or just doing anything I could NOT to feel all this discomfort.  My energy was plummeting. And believe me, I wanted to run and hide from what was clearly in my face.  And that was when I CHOSE to lean in more.

What? Lean into my resistance? Embrace discomfort? Doesn’t that sound like something easy and fun?  Ha!

And yet, once I did, it wasn’t as hard as I thought. And I could feel my energy physically and emotionally shift.

First you become aware.  Aware of what I was afraid of.  And I learned as I expand my comfort zone, I will still come across my own fear because I am experiencing something new, different, at the edge of my zone.  Yet with feeling secure in who I am, my fear doesn’t feel as large (most of the time).  Once I became aware (using tools I’ve created or learned) and embraced what I was feeling, its power began to fade.

Do I still have the rollercoaster?  Once in awhile, yes, it sneaks up. Most of the time no.  And even now when I find myself about to take a trip down a huge hill, I feel so differently about who I am today compared to yesterday.  I now see so many possibilities.  With the knowledge of possibilities and of course meditating almost daily I feel peace inside and more easily or more quickly shift my energy.

Does peace mean the voice inside is quiet.  No. It isn’t quiet in here inside me.  It is very noisy and yet I learned how to create peace inside the tumult.  Add in a little energy healing and I’m feeling better already.

So often you don’t want to be honest with yourself because it feels painful and scary and that just feeds the power of fear and leaves you feeling powerless, full of self-doubt and scared.  Basically STUCK.

Joining the Self-Esteem Revolution was the greatest gift I gave and continue giving myself.  I highly recommend it.   I learned to fly and soar without wings and how to sustain consistently while looking at what scares me most. It is so freeing!!! Join me!!!