Who Am I?


Just a week or so ago I was spinning. The moment we’ve dreamed about for a long time arrived. Our son’s healing was at the point he could be in a general education setting in his home school. So, for the 4th time since school began in August, our schedules and routines were changing. I’m in the midst of launching a program in my healing business unlike anything I’ve done before. It’s new. It’s exciting. It’s a bit uncomfortable. And I was about to have my first colonoscopy.

None of these things is “BAD”. They are all really good things. They’re transitions, change, new, which adds stress in a different way. I’ve also been upping the ante on my own personal healing these last 5-6 months. And that is affecting my thinking, my body, my feelings…pretty much my life.

I noticed as all these things were coming together, I was down. My energy was lower than before…I was moving slower. And that was strange. I was really happy. Yet I am super aware of my body talk and feelings because of my own Energetics mastery practices I do each day and understanding the role of my vibes and chakras. And my feelings and my body were not in sync. I was also procrastinating fully stepping into a new personal development program. And for me that’s weird. I LOVE the teacher and get so much out of ANYTHING from this person. And when I am fully “in” and ready for a new program, while I may be a little nervous, I just do it.

So I listened to my body when it told me to rest. It was really counter productive to what my brain was saying. Yet I know from years of Energetics Mastery practice, I needed to listen. Not always an easy choice especially when you have a lot of “TODO’s”. I stayed off social media promoting my program and my biz. I meditated longer. I gave myself what I needed. And my energy began moving up. And then I sat in meditation and answers began to bubble to the surface in pieces.

I processed some and dashed off a quick email to my healer for support. I was still stuck on something that had been coming up on and off with my healing business for a couple years. And it had made it’s way into my coaching time with my biz coach and my email with my healer. And as I processed from my coaching time and read the email response from my healer, I began feeling like I was SPINNING. Chaos was taking over. I felt super uncomfortable.

So, it began with the transitions. Great transitions. And then it made its way into my healing business. I began noticing in my copy for my new program something was missing. I couldn’t quite figure out what it was though I knew it would come to me. And when you are launching something amazing and new and realize something is missing, that feeling is stressful.

So, after a mini wave of chaotic spinning stress took over, I was able to get some support time with my healer. And during our time together through questions and my intuitive responses I began figuring out what was missing. I called out what was causing my spinning. And my spinning began to leave. And when I say spinning, it feels like chaos and discomfort inside my body and in my mind.

Here’s what came out. I have NOT completely, consistently and unequivocally shared who I am in my business. I’ve mentioned it. I’ve said it. I’ve owned it and then glossed over it.

And when I say this, I’m not standing in this in ego saying “look at me”, I’m so great, blah,blah, blah. I’m saying this from my place of truth. What I know down to my core. What I’ve witnessed and what’s been confirmed back to me.

What’s getting in the way of me saying who I am?
• When I market, I’m being respectful and not wanting to BLOW people over or cause blow back to me
• Part of me is scared or hiding from standing in my pure self, yet as I do my own work and make peace with this, it causes me to spin

So here goes…

I am a powerful healer.

And I hold space for people to heal which dramatically changes their lives.

And I haven’t been saying this. I’ve whispered it. Yet, I haven’t fully claimed it. And I am claiming it.

I said it out loud to my biz coach who mirrored back that this is the FIRST time I’ve stood up and claimed this. I say it and show it to my clients, yet when it comes to promoting or marketing so I can help more folks, I get shy.

Have you ever felt something so strongly down to your soul and held back?

I am a powerful healer.

And what that means is:
Whether in person, on the phone or through face to face technology, I use my ability of clair senses, sensory intuition (which help me to know, see, hear, smell, feel, and sometimes taste) and meld this with Eastern healing philosophies like Reiki, Energy healing, crystal healing and sound healing to help people heal physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I’ve helped clients find relief from physical pain. And I’ve seen clients learn to understand their physical pain, so they not only feel better, but also understand the message their body conveys to them, so they decide if they want to make a change. And when they do, the physical pain doesn’t return. And most often their life begins transforming.

Like my client who had elbow pain. It had been diagnosed as tennis elbow. I felt in my body as a toothache before she came to see me. And when I saw her she described feeling like she had a tooth ache in her elbow. And what I intuitively heard as I used healing techniques to alleviate her pain, was how imbalanced her life was between work, self-time and personal time. So much emphasis on work was not allowing her to feel the “sweetness” of life. And her lack of sweetness showed up in her body as if she’d had the opposite. Her body told her she needed more FUN.
This wasn’t new information to her. If she had really sat and thought about it, sure she knew she was imbalanced. She wasn’t paying attention. So her body began speaking to get her attention.
And as I shared this with her and she became aware, I taught her the foundations of Energetic and through my support, practicing and the tools and tips I shared with her, she developed Energetics Mastery. So not only did she enjoy more fun in her life, the elbow pain did not return. And she began “hearing” her body in a new way. A way that brought her into a closer communication with what her true self wanted to experience.

Not all clients feel the pain physically. Some do their best NOT to feel, which would be emotional pain. They bury it in doing lots of stuff, taking naps, avoidance through spending time on social media or tv, numbing out in some way (food, drugs, alcohol, exercise) and the list goes on. Many of these clients have complaints about something in their life that isn’t working. And often it’s more than one thing.

Things like:
*I don’t sleep well – my mind is constantly racing
*I am not treated well or respected: at work or in my relationship or both
*I can’t lose weight – I hate my body or parts of my body
*I’m stressed with my kids and find myself losing my patience a lot
*My sex life is lacking
*I know what I “should” do that would help me but I don’t do it because _______________ (obstacle).

And with clients like this, again, I begin with energy healing. And I’m lead to the area(s) of the body where the imbalance stems. And I couple this with teaching them and supporting them with Energetic Foundations and using practices, tools and tips with them so they take it to Energetics Mastery.

It is not a one and done “I’ve got it” scenario. And Mastery doesn’t mean perfect. It means mastering the understanding, awareness, techniques and tools to a point they become part of you.

The Energetic Foundation principles I use daily in my life and that I share with clients, needs cultivation. It’s a seed. And like a seed it needs food and water support to grow deeper roots and blossom. Just like we need tools and tips, practice and support to change and blossom.

Life isn’t perfect. We’re always going to deal with stuff that causes stress, fear, tension, etc. I do in my life too. My mission is to help. When you add energy healing and Energetics Mastery to your life, you become more aware quicker. You empower yourself with choice. You learn to love and accept yourself to a depth you didn’t even know existed.

I used these very tools to take myself from NUMBING out, not loving myself much, not feeling worthy or trusting me, not feeling confident, and hating on my body TO levels of joy in my life I didn’t even know existed. And yes, it’s in layers and the depth comes with practice.

And when stuff comes up for me, like it did the other week, I use my “go to” tools and get support. And it built resilience in me. I know when things get hard, somehow, it’s going to get better. I don’t feel stuck permanently. And that gives me hope. But I am straying from the crux of this message.

I am a powerful healer.

I help clients heal:
Physical pain
Emotional pain
Relationship pain
Self-love pain
Body Love pain
Feeling Stuck pain
Love pain

And I am on a mission to help people feel better and get what they want by helping them see and get what they need. And if you feel stuck, unsure, frustrated, lonely, or something similar and you are willing to embrace it so you can heal it, my sacred gift to you is for us to talk. Let’s help you discern if we are meant to partner and help you heal so you can live your best life ever.
Thank you for bearing witness as I FULLY step in to who I am.
XO Marni

PS. Click Here  It will take you to the form in my Energetics Mastery page to set up time for us to talk.

I hate my. . .

Who hasn’t uttered the words I hate my…

-life

-ass

-body

-nose

-laugh

-hair

-name

-job

-eyes

-skin

-nails

-belly

-breasts

-fat

-sex life

-lack of _____

I am the first one raising my hand.  At different times in my life: I’ve said it to myself, to others, I’ve written about it, I’ve thought it and I’ve believed it.  And this by no means is a complete list.  I’m sure I could add more I’ve thought of over the years.  You could probably add to it too.

Do I feel this way anymore? Most of the time, NO.  I have moments where an old “wound” worms its way back in when I’m in transition.

Transition meaning I’m in the process of healing, of growth.  And during times of transition for me I’m more sensitive and sometimes feeling super uncomfortable.  Why? Because I’ve kicked something loose. Something that might’ve been stuck.  Something I believed was serving me or giving me the illusion of safety.  Something that was a part of me.  And now that piece has been discovered by me.  I have an awareness that it’s time to reframe my belief and move to the next step beyond this belief or habit.  And that can be unsettling for any of us.  Not because  we  don’t want to change.  Really we feel unsettled because it’s a change often from the known to the unknown.

And change can be scary.  When I used to believe the list of the things I “hated”, it affected so much of my life.  When I was an adolescent, I hated my name.  It was different.  As a kid, I just wanted to fit in.  And I didn’t.  I had a weird name and I had white blonde hair and was Jewish with a small nose.

I had this unusual name that for some reason people had challenges spelling and pronouncing.  I’m not making this up.  M-A-R-N-I;  MAHR-NEE  came out as: Marty, Bonnie, Marina, Marini, Marin, Mardi, Mardini, Martine….And the spellings went along with it.  Oh how I wanted a name people had heard of like Kim, Lisa, Mary, Jill.

And you know the longer I hated on my name, the more people teased me about it being unusual, didn’t spell it correctly or pronounce it properly.  And when I embraced my name and  made peace with it long ago, it changed.  People still misspell it and still mispronounce it.  That is what it is.  I receive it differently.  And by loving my name and its distinction, people now comment about it positively.  People love on my name as I do.

For me the one that I’ve struggled with most of my life has been my body.  I have to say my body has really been there for me and taken a lot of abuse and still had my back.

My body gave me a safe feeling while I was bulimic.

My body provided more safe feelings later when I was physically abused by a boyfriend and it housed a safe haven for my emotions.

My body helped me deal and heal my relationship with my Mom.

My body provided a beautiful and healthy space to create and grow my son.

My body physically supports me everyday.

This one may shock you…My body provided a scapegoat for me.  A place I could make myself less physically intimidating; a place I could hide my big and beautiful energy so I would be accepted by those who might feel overwhelmed by the real me.

As I’ve healed and had these revelations and stood reveling in the awareness of the magnificence of my body, there was no way I could do anything except LOVE IT.

Yes, Love it.  Hating it didn’t serve me.  And hating it diminished the amazing gifts my body has provided for me over the years.

The process of changing something you HATE into something you LOVE is SIMPLE.  It’s easy.  With most things it’s layers.  Layers of deepening your love.  There are phases along the way that occur as you uncover each layer.  And the first is Awareness.  Nothing changes if your not aware of it, right?  Yet even with awareness, there are layers which I learned and help people working with me learn.

And for me one of the greatest secrets, gifts, tools – call it whatever you want- I’ve discovered is change happens when you tweak or revise  your beliefs.  And you can MORE EASILY change your beliefs when you understand ENERGY.  How it works and how your understanding of your energy and energy, itself, can help you renovate your entire life, one belief or thing you “hate” at a time.

I’ve been using my understanding of my own energy, and the energy around me to: heal my shit and be more in flow;  To bring more love into this world;  To help people just like you, heal their own “hates” and fill up their own love tanks.

The changes show up in your life with:

* increased confidence- not being scared to do things and trusting yourself; speaking up easily and more sexual enjoyment;

*love- taking better care of yourself; happier, able to see options, laughing more, less pain or no pain; sparkling;

*more energy- sleeping better, easier to think, better at work; more “with it” with your kids/spouse/friends, calmer and better sex

How???   As an Intuitive, I understand your emotions.  If you have pain, I can feel it and know how to fix it.  And I help you become aware of it and share what to do so you know how to feel better.  I help you feel your vibes, your energy.  Your vibes tell you where you are with your feelings.  Vibes confirm and tell you your feelings.  And by helping you become aware of your vibes consistently you begin the peeling of the layers.  I add in a mixture of energy healing modalities to support you and bring the healing into your energetic, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual bodies.  My son describes this as sending love to the areas of pain which he says I do by asking my heart to send love out through me.

Why???    I am so passionate about this because I’ve seen in my own life, my son’s life, my husband’s life and the lives of people I work with how your life not only improves, how it can dramatically change and receive the yummies: Love, better sex, stronger relationships, easier parenting, better at work, easier speaking up, sleeping better and more.   It helps you live the life you were meant to live.

I feel so strongly about getting this information to you,  I am bringing the beginning- where the changes all begin, Energetic Foundations to you.

Next week, I share this information through an experiential Tele-class, September 13th 11am -1230pm Eastern.

This is the first time I’m teaching it this way and the $36 price reflects it.  Your participation will help shape how I share this information and it will never again be at this low price EXCEPT on

September 27th, when I teach the class in-person here in Charlotte at Body Mind Shift , 11am-1230pm , $36

Space for both classes is limited.  And anyone who has been to one of my workshops or classes before will tell you:

I overgive beyond what I outline.  And you will receive more than you knew you needed.  I want you to get this information and use it in your life. Click Here to Register for Energetic Foundations

Are you ready for more happiness, being better at work, better sex and more energy for it, being more “with it” with your loved ones, trusting you and more???  IF you are then join me, I would love to help you.

No matter what you choose, I hope you begin to see your “hates” in a new light.  You are each beautiful lights in this world.  Shine your light boldly, with joy and fun.  Let’s light up the world together bringing more peace and love into it.

XO Marni

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vulnerably Naked

So as many of you who read my blog regularly know, I was bulimic from the age of 8 until I went to treatment at 25.  You don’t go to treatment and POOF, your healed.  It’s a way to get a giant head start (if you are willing to face your discomfort) towards healing.

I’m going to get very vulnerable and share things I usually reserve for my  closest of close.  What I’m sharing  I used to feel shame about.  How could I help other people heal if I still struggled with this shit?   What I know, is that sharing my own struggles allows you to see the real me and I know helps my clients connect and trust me at a deeper level for their own healing.  So here goes:

Over the years, my body went from a very bulimic size 4 with my ribs sticking out (compare this with a 2 or 0 by today’s sizing) to very oversized past 20.  Why?

When my size began to change:

  1. My physical body was catching up to my energy, HUGELY powerful

  2. I lived with a man right after college,  I believed I would marry.  One night he came home drunk, we had a brief conversation and beat the shit out of me.  And somewhere inside me I decided to make my size larger to protect me. (unconscious decision)

  3. I was having conflict with my mom at one point in my life and her go to was appearance.  She was raised with appearance being SUPER important.  Most specifically size.  And in my anger at her, I was saying “F-U…here I am bigger and bigger…I dare you to love me anyway.”  I know this isn’t rational.  Feelings rarely are or they wouldn’t be feelings.

  4. I lived with a man I believed I would marry (different from the earlier man).  This man I never wanted to date and ended up with him for 5 years and lost parts of myself in the process.  While he wasn’t physically abusive, he was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and vindictive.

  5. Beginning when I was young, someone super close to me told me I was TOO BIG (energetically), TOO MUCH, TOO LOUD, TOO INTIMIDATING.  So to make myself less intimidating, even after I healed my mom stuff , the physical fear, and  the emotional fear,  I reduced my size to a point and then stagnated, hitting a plateau.

I didn’t know all my whys immediately.  Each one of these whys was a layer of healing.  The healing began with awareness and then facing each belief; looking them in the eye, admitting this was my truth and my pain. Then, FORGIVING not just anyone else involved but above all ME.  Forgiving ME.  You can’t completely love yourself when you are unwilling or unable to forgive.

It didn’t happen like a light switch flipping on.  It took time.  Time for me to sit in the awareness.  Time for me to admit to myself the TRUTH.  Time for me to embrace the discomfort. Time for me to let go and forgive.  Time for me to activate my new beliefs.

And over the last 25 years I’ve done so much healing.  The connection between understanding my energy and its relationship to chakras became instrumental in my healing. And yet, I’ve known for awhile there was one sliver left tied to my body size.   I knew it was emotional.   And I was so ready to not just gain awareness but look it in the eye, forgive it and me and change my belief.  I was done dragging this around  and ready to be FREE.

The last piece is #5.  So for years I kept getting messages intuitively and through other healers to LOVE my body.  Okay…well, that came in stages.  I loved me for a long time and then I got pregnant and realized I never in all my life since my bulimic days, did I truly love my stomach.  Pregnancy was the first time I demonstrated love for this part of my body.  Not that other parts of me didn’t get larger…but it was my stomach where I held most of my shit: my anger and my fear.

When you understand the relationship between your energy and chakras, this makes complete sense.  Most of this related to my 2nd and 3rd chakras.  Feelings and Self.   For years I didn’t face my feelings, sometimes hiding through sex, food, Pot, TV, anything that would numb or zone me out.  I also spent years rebuilding my confidence in me, my self-belief, self-worth, my value.

So overtime I fell in love with my body.  It wasn’t right away.  For  a long time I equated beauty with size as it related to me.  Not when looking at anyone else.  With anyone else, I would pick up on their energy.  And their energy would either attract me or turn me off.

It took that realization to understand and accept, it works with me too.  So when my hubby or friends told me I was beautiful or glowing, I could truly receive it.

I knew I was ready a couple of years ago.  One of my energy mentors, Sonia Choquette, came to Charlotte.  I always knew I would meet her.  Well, my interaction ended up way beyond meeting.  She brought me up on stage with her and I danced, BY MYSELF, as part of healing, on the stage in front of 200+ peeps. If I didn’t know my body confidence before that night and my love, I knew it for sure then.  I wasn’t nervous.  I just put myself out there and was me and FREE.  This was a defining moment in my life.

And I thought.  That’s it.  I’m finally done with this part.  And while my size would begin to shrink, it plateaued.  And I knew there was something more.  And here is what kept coming up…

If I truly love my body, how can I ask it to change?  I believed if I truly loved my body, just like loving another person, you accept it or them, warts and all.  So if I was asking my body to change, then I couldn’t truly love it.  Could I?

YES, I could.  This was it.  This was a large fragment of what’s been stopping me.  Reframe the belief:

I love myself inside and out.  And loving myself and my BIG energy, I no longer need the protection of a bigger size.  I no longer need to put my desires in a drawer and make myself less intimidating physically to make loved ones, clients, friends, anyone more comfortable.  I can be me in my full beautiful power while my ideal physical body is  smaller in stature.  And while some people may feel overwhelmed by my energy, some of that is their own shit to heal.  It is what it is.  AND without altering my energy and who I am, I can adjust my delivery in ways less likely to overwhelm.

This reframed belief feels natural.  Easy.  And for me I feel it (my energy and energetic confirmations)in my body.  I get a tingling in my arms from my shoulders to my elbows running down and then back up and leaving me with goose bumps.

So now I’m feeling a bit emotionally naked and exposed and YET, I feel free.  We all have issues.  And if sharing mine helps you know you’re not alone, I’ve done what I set out to do.  If sharing my story stirred you up and made you uncomfortable, I’ve done what I’ve set out to do.  If sharing my story touched you in a way that you want to talk about it, I’m here for you. Just invite me into a conversation.

I’m here to share my story and help others heal.  I’m here to hold space so you can do the work you need to do.  And while I hold the space, you do the work and  feel safe.

XO

Marni

 

How Do You Get What You Want?

Have you ever wanted to do something for yourself so much and yet come up with many obstacles that keep you from that very thing?

Things like: change jobs/careers; shift relationships; improve body image; try a new activity that stretches you; travel; date someone that didn’t exactly fit every box, yet the most important dealbreakers were met; Say no;

I have experienced this myself. Obstacles are resistance. Resistance is energetic fear, blocking us from moving forward.

I used to name it. Give a list of all the things getting in the way. All my obstacles: Time, Money, geography, my family beliefs, are common.

I’ve had prospects and even some clients that are hiders. Someone who doesn’t show up for an appointment or respond to texts or emails.

Either way the resistance, the fear, is going to keep you stuck. Stalled in the very thing you were trying to wrench free from.

Time, Money, Geography for me were also ways of saying “I don’t value myself enough to spend the time, the money or drive for X.  Most of us have resistance at one time or another. It’s change. And change can be scary. It is different. It is stretching our comfort.

Resistance can be SUPER obvious.

*Do you ever cancel or not show up at the last minute for appointments or with family & friends?

*Are you a self-sabotager?

*Do you believe life has to be hard?

*Do you struggle to say no?

*Do you struggle with comparing yourself/your career/your family to others and then get anxious or depressed or upset that some how you aren’t measuring up?

*Do you get lost in “other activities” instead of the ones that will bring about the very thing you desire most in your life?

These are just a few to get you started.  Truth is there are so many obstacles and resistances out there, it is a wonder any of us push forward.

So how?  How do you move forward when you are engaged in resistance?

First above all else: BE WILLING! Being willing to move past your resistance brings about more ease than fighting with yourself.  Next become aware: are of what you are feeling, sensing, thinking.  You cannot change what you aren’t aware of.  And face your resistance.  Call it out.  Name it.  And then ask WHY?  Ask: How is this keeping me comfortable?  What would happen if I faced this fear anyway? Is it keeping me comfortable? Am I ready to let this go so I can move forward?

When you become aware of your own energy: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually on a consistent basis, awareness becomes easier.

This is as easy as getting in the habit a few times a day (wake up, midday, evening, bedtime) asking yourself:
How do I feel? Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, Spiritually.  Take time to scan your body from the top of your head and the outside as well as the inside of your body…all the way down through your throat, your belly, to your feet and toes.  And note, how you feel at wake up.  Next check in, did anything change?

What changed?   What did you experience before the change?

Another way to get to awareness is through a mindfulness practice.  1 minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes…any of them will bring about clarity.  Whether you are walking with intention, sitting in meditation, focused on the feel of a key in your hand, etc.

And after creating awareness, what would happen if instead of blocking the thing you want, you faced the fear, faced the obstacles. I know this may sound crazy…how about embrace the change. Embrace the resistance. Give it a hug.
I know when I do this, it feels vulnerable-exposed-sometimes raw. Yet I also know from my own experience, the thing that is the obstacle becomes smaller. Weird I know.

With potential clients or clients – to -be, I know this means they are tapping in to something they are ready to move past. Whether they work with me or it feels more aligned for their needs for me to refer them, ultimately it is about supporting them through this moment, help them gain awareness and inner wisdom around this so they can claim this THING they want so badly.

And yes, they do hide from me at times too. Each is different so I cannot tell you exactly what I do each time. I listen to my intuition.
I get frustrated because I want them to achieve that THING (whether it is with me or not) and see them blocking themselves.

And I reach out so they know, I’m here when they are ready to step in and say yes to releasing the block.

Sometimes getting caught up in our stuff, we need the support of someone else to see things more clearly and work it through with us.  I know that is why I work with someone.  And I know that is what my clients get from me.

Resistance and Obstacles get a bad rap, yet I know for me and with all my clients, R&O showing up means you are getting stirred up and that sh#t is ready to move out.
How do you deal with resistance & obstacles?

XO 

PS.  If this is something you want to speak about further, my invitation to you is to invite me into a conversation with you.

What is Happy and What is Love? How do you know?

What is love?   What is happiness? 

This is what was on my mind after I meditated this morning.  So today I’m going to free write my answers and share them with you.  Why? Because I believe these are the 2 most important topics of life.  And I’m on a mission to help bring more love into the world.  So here goes:

Happiness comes from love.  Happiness is something that you create in your mind and in your heart.  You tap into it even on the days you feel like your world is crashing down around you.  Happiness doesn’t mean you always have a smile plastered to your face.  It is a state of being.  Knowing in your mind and in your heart that even when the shit hits the fan and you are sad or angry about life happenings, somehow you still feel happiness inside you and in your life. 

That may sound weird to some people.
  Maybe to everyone.  Maybe it doesn’t even sound real.  But it is.  I know.  I have been that person with life crashing down and not knowing what to do and feeling overwhelmed and yet I still knew I am a happy person dealing with some uncomfortable or shitty situations.  It sounds weird rereading what I wrote..maybe even unreal. 

How do I better explain? Happiness doesn’t mean I never get mad or sad.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t cry or feel pain.  I do.  Yet somehow I also have hope and faith.  I struggle with my hope and faith at times and I have my pity parties and get my dark emotions out and yet I still turn around and know I am happy. 

Maybe it is because I know that the discomfort I am going through is temporary even when it feels like it is going on forever.  I don’t know when it works out or how but I trust somehow it works out for my greatest good.  That doesn’t mean I sit and watch my life go by.  I actively participate supporting my intentions and life affirmations bringing about life prosperity.  Yet Shit happens.  It does.  I cannot control anyone or everything.  Each of us has free will.

I live most days in gratitude, yet I have moments and days I fall off the wagon.  And still I consider myself happy.  

Five ways to know you are happy: Keep in mind this is about consistency and NOT PERFECTION.

  1. You smile from the inside out: not necessarily daily more like consistently and not like it is plastered to your face and fake.  A real joyful smile coming from inside you and emanating out of you.  So much so, you don’t even realize you are smiling at times and people naturally smile back at you.
  2. Even when you are going through difficult times, you have hope that your life will get better.  
  3. You can see and accept yourself warts and all most of the time and you give this same acceptance to your inner circle of loved ones.
  4. You consistently laugh.  Maybe not daily, but almost everyday you find something amusing.  Laughter is hugely important to happiness
  5.  You live life in the present and enjoy. Worrying creates more to worry about and doesn’t change anything.  Just take action where you can.

So if Happiness comes from love, what is love? Love for me is the feeling of acceptance and pure delight.  It is loving my imperfections and all of me which makes me, ME.  And doing the same for other people.  Does that mean I like everything about everyone? No, not even myself.  And yet, I accept those things I dislike about myself and about people I love because I love them.  I’m not talking about things that hurt people, drastic stuff.  I’m talking about the imperfections that make us human and at times drive us crazy, if we allow it.  Some of it is how we choose to experience it.  There was a time in my life I would say if only ____ would change ____, then we would be happier. That is NOT an example of acceptance or DEEP LOVE.  

That is the thinking that keeps us stuck and in the same motions over and over and over.  Living out repetitive patterns in many of our relationships.  YUCK. 

Love for myself: I am my best friend.  I enjoy time with me.  I am loud and big energy.  I love to laugh. I have a sharp tongue, very little filter, a “truck driver’s mouth”  and a sharp temper all with my  HUGE heart.  My loved ones know, I will drop anything to be there for you.  I trust easily until it is broken and then it is hard for me to trust again.  I’m getting better at forgiveness.  My son is great at it and I’m learning from him.  Boundaries with strangers are super easy; with loved ones they are harder, yet they are necessary to take care of me.  I am in a progressive state of love with my body after many years of war.  I love my hair and the way my green eyes change color.  I love not looking my age.  I’m NOT PERFECT.  I aim to do the best I can and be the best me I can be at any given moment and that changes from time to time.  I love me.  And saying that and meaning it down to my core, makes me happy.

 

I agree with the Dali Lama about life. Life for me is about the journey of love and happiness. 

XO

 Ask me about this…

The Power of Words

Words are soooo powerful.

When I was a kid my Grandma and my Dad used to call me the “da greser”  and my sister “da kleyner”.  Pronounced: (dah graseh = long A and lightly rolled “r”) and (dah klayneh = long A). Loosely translated Greser is Yiddish for bigger, older, greater  while Kleyner was little, younger, smaller.

Well at the time, I learned the meanings of these words, I was not in love with me.  So what I heard was the BIGGER sister and the SMALLER sister.  Oy vey! Those words had HUGE power over me and I heard and took all this to mean I was FAT, HUGE, BIG, LARGE.

Here is a picture of me at that time, standing behind a friend’s younger brother.

Surprising?

Words HAVE POWER.  Did my family mean for me to believe I was BIG and FAT? No.  But what you say to yourself has HUGE power and how you CHOOSE, yes, CHOOSE, to take in the words from people (especially ones you care about) have huge power over you too.

I defined myself  at this point in my life as the BIG one, the FAT one even when I wasn’t FAT.

My parents and grandparents loved me, adored me.  They had ZERO intention of hurting me or saying anything that would derail me or have such a negative impact in my life.  But there was a lot going on in my young 8-9 year old life and the free spirit I had been just a year before disappeared quickly.

Here is a pic during a recent adventure  with the love of my life .  I’m definitely larger.  The difference between how I saw myself then and now?  I am in love with me.  I’m happy.  I’m beautiful.  I love my body. I take care of myself meditating, exercising and mostly eating nutritiously and I’m healthy. I live in gratitude (most days). I would definitely love to release some weight yet I live my life enjoying the journey and not waiting for that day of what used to be my belief of “perfection”.

How do you get there? You learn how to use the power of words to help YOU fall in love with yourself.  It doesn’t mean you’ll never have a bad day or get triggered.  What it means is you are so in love with yourself you can keep going even after you stumble or fall.  You show yourself compassion.  You become aware of the words you think about yourself and how you speak TO yourself and about yourself.

I’m real about what I ‘m super great at and what is just not my strong suit.  Yet, I don’t say I SUCK at _____.   I do my best and ask for help when I need it.  We all have our unique abilities and areas of day to day living where ya just need support.  It’s really okay.

Read these out loud with enthusiasm and make note of  how you feel saying each one:

I love you!

I hate you!

Your tush is too big!

You are soo skinny.

You are gorgeous!

You are loud.

That wasn’t nice.

You are so sweet.

I suck at this.

You are powerful.

You are the big sister.

You are the older sister.

What did you notice?  Did you feel better with the compliments? OR did you struggle to believe them?   Did you dislike the put downs or feel agreement with them?

Now try this one.  Loud and Proud.  Say:  I am in love with me!

Can you say it out loud? Can you smile when saying it? Do you believe it? In your head? In your heart?

I hear friends, family and client’s talk about themselves sometimes and just feel for them cringing as I hear the way they put themselves down unconsciously or deflect sincere compliments.  Those are sure signs you may not be in love with you.  And I often ask if they would speak to someone else that way. Almost everyone says NO WAY!  “So what makes it okay to speak to yourself like that?”

Do any of these sound familiar:

  • Filled with self doubt (often or compartmentalized consistently)
  • Looking for love outside of you to fill you up and make you feel whole (emotionally and sexually)
  • Difficulty having and holding boundaries
  • Difficulty receiving compliments
  • Addicted to Drama or drama follows you constantly
  • Indecisive
  • Speak down to yourself or about yourself
  • complain often

If you said yes to any of these (I used to say yes to them all so don’t be shy here), most likely you are not in love with yourself.

Lack of love for yourself has the POWER to change your life.  Let’s rephrase that: Falling in Love with yourself has the SUPER POWER to change your life; shift how you feel inside and out; change how you experience day to day living situations and relationships.

The power of words is one SUPER TOOL I use in collaboration with powerful energetic healing to help clients begin falling love with themselves.

You were born as part of love and so you are LOVE.  As you grow, you hear words and learn about conditions and you create beliefs about yourself that are not true.  You can reframe these self laws and change them.  You have the POWER!!

Begin one word at a time.  Set an intention to become aware of how you speak to yourself (and how you think about yourself).  Get real.  Be honest.  Awareness is a HUGE key in the work I do.  You cannot change what you are NOT aware of.

Once you are aware of it, change can begin.  Pick ONE belief at a time.  Change it.  Reframe it so it is stretching your system making you a little uncomfortable and yet you see the possibility of it being true.   And work with that one until you believe in your heart and soul your new belief .  And then keep going taking it deeper.

It is SO possible.  I am living proof as are my clients.

I know you will see and feel changes in your life and your experiences.  You will create a feeling of lightness filled with joy.

And should you want support, I am here for you.  I am on a mission to help as many people as I can fall in love with themselves.  So I invite you to connect with me and ask.  It is a attribute of strength to know when you need support and ask for it.

I LOVE YOU!!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Marni

 

 

 

 

I Am Always The Strong One

I am always the strong one.  At least that is the illusion I told myself.  I am the one who remains clear headed and calm while the chaos ensues around me.  I’m the one that handles the crisis during the crisis.  The cost is I don’t get to my feelings until much later after the chaos becomes calm. 

After the crisis and before I get to my feelings, I am cranky, bitchy, nitpicky.  And when I let loose, it is like my insides are falling out of me.  I cry tears that could fill the oceans.  I sob out loud and I just let go.  And man, am I tired when I’m finished.  It takes so much energy to hold up the world and keep it together when I just want to cry in that moment.  But if I did, then I wouldn’t be the strong one. Or would I?

This is how I grew up.  This was the role I created for myself.  My unique ability.  My “look at me and what I can do talent”.  The action I took for approval and love.  What I felt I had to do to be loved.  Yet, I was already loved.  Loved before conception, loved the second I was conceived, the moment I came into this body on this earth.  I am love. 

Somewhere along the way, I learned being dependable was strong and approved (approval = love) and showing lots of emotion was judged as weak.  So, funny, I live my life in a colorful world mixing colors constantly.  Yet for this huge decision, I looked at only 2 choices, black or white.  My fear erased color and with it possibilities. 

I did such a good job playing my “strong one” role that when I shared my feelings with loved ones and began taking off my mask, they responded with “you can handle it, you are strong”.  Often, that made me super angry to hear.  I wanted the perceived nurturing I saw going to the “weak”.  The rescuing.  I wanted to be rescued. 

And so I tried my hand at being a victim.  I didn’t get the reaction I wanted.  I received tough words and tough love. And that made me angry and kicked off more fears about me not being loved.  A self-fulfilling prophecy?

Life is about possibilities, endless possibilities.  Today I am still great in a crisis with my feelings hanging out or running down my face.  I allowed myself to see other possibilities.  I no longer have HUGE releases after a crisis that drain me of energy.  I gave myself permission to feel in the moment.  I am the strong one because I allow myself to feel and express my vulnerability without becoming a victim.

And I am grateful for this beautiful awareness.  I am grateful for the times I believed in the illusion.  And I am so grateful to know the difference.   This awareness I pass on to my son.  Feel your feelings, acknowledge them.  Crying is a release.  Admitting you are sad, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, AFRAID, doesn’t make you weak…it is what you do next that becomes your story.  Do you become a victim of woe is me or do you keep moving, find gratitude and live your life, human, vulnerable and strong?

How do you begin reframing what you believe and your behaviors? I’ll share with you what I discovered. My magic powers I’ve used for years…

First you become aware.  Then you create an intention.  How do you want to embrace your life or a specific aspect of it.  Stick with something that stretches your comfort zone and yet you believe it is possible.  Sometimes it is your intention that helps grow your awareness.  And then develop an affirmation, an I am statement.  Something in your own words that you desire and can believe.  Both your intention and affirmation may be works in progress.  That is absolutely okay. 

And finally, gratitude.  When I live in gratitude, my fears are quieter.  It doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but fear doesn’t get so loud that it controls my life.  And when it does, I discover I have forgotten my gratitude.

I realize this may sound too easy or possibly lame depending on your perspective.  All I know is it works.  It works in my life.  And I have the incredible delight of witnessing it change the lives of my clients.

I sit in gratitude almost daily focusing on an intention and affirmation to guide me or grow me that day.  And sometimes I have the same intentions and affirmations for a few weeks as I allow myself to change.  My gratitude notebook goes everywhere with me in my purse.  When I feel something, I write it down.  And when I’m struggling, it helps me remember.  Some days it might be gratitude that I am breathing or the sun is shining. 

I realize this seems so simple. How could something this simple change your life? Try it consistently and watch yourself soar.  And if you dare enough to try it, write to me and tell me how your life is changing.  I want to dance in celebration for you and with you.   

 

I struggle

What am I going to write about? The time I struggled and showed my ass by behaving like I’d lost my mind? There are moments I feel like I’m part of the circus or better yet starring in a sit-com.  My life is far from always being full of laughter though we laugh a lot in our family.

I get tired of taking everything so seriously.  So I put on a pair of “TV glasses” and see what each situation I’m worried about, frustrated with, pissed about, and enjoying would like through the camera of a sit-com.

I discovered this solution when Eli was an infant.  I was alone and changing his diaper.  He stuck one foot in poop, then another, then his hand.  Somehow it got on my hands too.  I was by myself at home.  And as a new mom, I began to panic.  How do I figure this out? How do I get my son and myself clean without getting poop everywhere.  Every idea I thought of resulted in me seeing my son ending up falling to the floor.  All the tools I needed were in other rooms,  The thought of carrying poop from room to room with a dog and three cats standing by to enter the fray filled me with more anxiety.   My body tensed and tightened.  And then Eli began to cry.  Big surprise, right?  And then as he wriggled in more poop, for a split second I imagined my reaction if I was watching this on TV.  What was the big deal? And I began to laugh.  And as I laughed and my body loosened, Eli calmed and smiled.  I have no idea how, but somehow I cleaned us both pretty quickly and easily.  And from then on, I pulled out my “TV Glasses” during life situations.  Any caregivers out there ever experience similar situations?

Which brings me to a few days ago when again I was struggling, frustrated and a little scared.  Instead of picturing the sitcom, I cried.  I disagreed with my producer for my upcoming radio show and participated in unnecessary arguing drama.  I was not fit for human consumption and I felt it in my body. I reflected on all my “life plates” I keep spinning, my to dos.  Are these life or death “plates”? Nope.  What will happen if I don’t get EVERYTHING done? Nothing.  What am I afraid of?

Truth? Falling on my face which is FAILING. Yet even as I say that most of me is not afraid.  I know in the deepest part of me, even if I fall on my face there is a reason.  I know the experience will provide me with an opportunity.  Now truth be told.  It isn’t comfortable to fail.  So I don’t know of anyone who runs out and says Yes, I’ll choose Failure.  What I know is if I don’t choose change,  which comes with risks, and pushing out of what is comfortable, I stay stuck.

Complacency becomes another word for stuck.  Don’t make waves. Status quo.   Don’t ask a tough question because of what might happen.  Did you know stuck means you don’t get to experience the fantabulous either?

Self-esteem plays a huge role in your willingness to embrace change.  Change can have ALOT of unknown and unfamiliar feelings and factors.  So of course complacency will feel better in some aspects because you know it.  And you know your outcomes even if they are painful.

So here I go taking another leap:  1) I premiered my radio show heard globally   2) I stopped part of my business marketing which I believed until recently was the largest draw for meeting new clients.   I do not know what I’m doing next to grow my community.   I trust it will be revealed soon (there was a bit of GULP the first time I said that)  3) I am continuing to lovingly detach as a parent (more on this in future articles). Providing my son opportunities to grow and fail (as safely as I can)  4) I am visibly emerging with  live videos on social media, radio, joint ventures with other healers 5) I am learning how to do my radio show from my computer and all the mechanics and marketing (there are at least 10 things here I don’t know)  6) I am allowing in my relationship with Marc instead of listening to the voice telling me to “drive the train”.  With more leaping each week and sometimes daily.

And while some days it feels harder and some days I fail.  I am still happy everyday.  And more and more consistently, I feel an ease and a joy.  I feel a freedom like I did as a kid riding my bike super fast with the wind blowing my hair kicking my feet out as I went down a huge hill and yelling WHEEEEEEE!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Marni

 

Why Wear Someone Else’s Underwear

Do you wake up feeling great and head out into your day only to find after a work meeting or a run to a store you feel off, cranky, sad, etc.? Does any room in your house or does your car feel off, cold or darker? If you are answering yes about any part of you or your space feeling off, you need energetic cleansing.  I want to help you and share some of my favorite rituals. I energetically cleanse myself and my home, often if not daily.  Whether you are an open channel or just unaware,  it is easy to pick up other people’s energy unknowingly not only in your own energetic field but also in your home, your car,  or any space you visit. If you wouldn’t want to share someone else’s underwear, why wear their energy?
So what do you do to feel better?
First
begin by becoming more aware of how you feel so you notice when your feelings (physical, mental and emotional) change.   I begin my day doing a quick scan of me.  How do I feel: emotionally, physically, energetically.  If you don’t know the answers to all of them, it is okay.  It will come with practice.  Daily consistency is key.
Second cleanse your self.
Why? 
Clearing a space without clearing yourself is like mopping your floor wearing dirty shoes.
How?

There are many approaches for cleansing yourself.

Here is a short list.  You may like one or a couple; use them separately or together. There are no rules.,, feel what feels good to you. When you finish check in and see how you feel.  Don’t make this hard or complicated.

1- begin with water in the body;

Program a glass of water by holding it and setting an intention

Think and drink

2-Visualization: Create an image or a ritual of the mind that as you picture it, you cleanse.  You ask for anything not yours to be released for your highest good and cleansed off of you.

3- Prayer: Ask in prayer for energetic cleansing

4 sage or palo santo: Light either of these, set an intention to cleanse your self and douse yourself in their fumes

5- music: Sing, play or dance choosing music that lifts you up and soothes your soul (this is subjective)

6- crystals: Use crystal healing to cleanse your energetic field

7-move outside: Walk, run, bike, etc feel the earth beneath you and feel your vibes raise higher.

8- Water over the body: Shower, bathe and as the water runs over you or you submerge your body in water, know you are cleansing

9- exercise: Yoga, Pilates, Barre, Cycling, Running, Basketball, etc. Any form where you are moving continuously or close to continuously

10-laugh: laughter heals your soul; And more….

The goal is to clear your vibes and begin moving your vibration higher.  All you must do is believe it is possible to succeed.

Just as weather changes daily, the approach appealing to you can shift or change.  The methods you choose can also change as you learn, heal and grow, especially when you choose an extensive letting go healing like Kahuna healing. What I do today is different than what I did years ago.  I try news things and adapt my own rituals. So don’t be afraid to try something new.
Once you cleanse you, space cleansing can begin.  And you use many of the same approaches. Scan your space first.  How does each room feel? This is super personal.  My personal fave is white sage.  It is powerful and grabs most unwanted energy.  I set a stage for myself.  I love music and play music throughout my cleansing time.  I set intentions for my space and visualize the cleansing and protection of it.  And then I walk and dance throughout my space focused on my intentions.
Now there are times I receive intuitive messages to choose another approach or I hear I need to meditate first and I pick up some nuance to incorporate.  When I go to a client’s home, each space is cleansed uniquely.  While I may bring sage, there may be other tools I hear to help including meditations and even bubbles.  And sometimes, if there is a darker energy or a spirit to cross over, that certainly brings additional alternatives to my choices.
When you finish, scan your space again.  And notice the difference.  You may not be able to describe it right away.  It could be it just feels better.  And then yes, you’ve done it.
As we begin this new year of 2017, I encourage you to cleanse your self, cleanse your space and look for opportunities for healing yourself and letting go of what you don’t wish to carry with you any longer.  Letting go can cleanse your soul.  If you want to know more about this, join me  and Nami for Kahuna Healing as the first New Moon of 2017 approaches (information below).

With Love & Gratitude, Marni

How do you Dance in the Rain?

Doubt means “a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.”  Even today I have moments of doubt.  I sometimes struggle with things I cannot control namely other peoples free will.  This is more than evident as I parent our wonderful little boy as he is healing from PTSD.  And sometimes after a struggle with something uncontrollable,  do you notice your fears enticing your feelings of self doubt.   As in my past, I witness my clients experiencing the same struggle of doubts and stuck feelings sometimes daily.  Those days I experience what I call M3 (Marni Meltdown Moment/s)where my fear has gotten hold of me and negative talk creeps in.  It happens to all of us at one point or another.  So what do you do to help yourself through it?  How do you DANCE in the Rain?

I wish I had a magic wand to wave and say…POOF, all is peaceful and healed.  While I don’t have a wand, I have 6 Simple, yet extraordinary solutions that changed my life (I still use them today) and change my clients lives:

These first 3 I named, The Daily 3.  Gratitude, Intention, Affirmation: listing 3 under each.

  1. Daily Gratitude:  I know everyone these days is talking about gratitude and gratitude is “trending”. Did you ever think it is gaining steam around the globe because it is working?  Daily say out loud/write down in a gratitude notebook what you are grateful for.  Struggle to come up with new ones each day.  What happens? Your vibes begin rising and when you are experiencing a delightful day, you’ll get higher.  Yet when you experience an M3 day, gratitude begins raising your vibes moving away from stuck or negativity.   I’ll get you started with a few: I am grateful for the air I breathe, my family, my friends, my body, my sanctuary aka home, my clients, the sun and its beautiful shine today…and more (keep going)
  2. Daily Intention: Intentions are a guide, a map of where you want to go or how you want to be.  Without a map or an intention, you may still get there or somewhere near OR you may end up in a completely different place. How many times have you said or heard: “I’m sorry that wasn’t my intention.” What did you intend? Intention is mindful.  It brings to your mind, body and spirit the way you want to engage and interact with the world, your relationships, and yourself.  Here is one to get you started: I intend to speak with kindness and honesty from my heart both to myself and people I encounter (this includes in person, on the phone and email).   While this is typically how I roll anyway, my conscious intention keeps it fresh even when I begin feeling fear or negativity enter.  I intend to stay focused today is another one I like.  I sometimes get distracted by the shiny things, emails, etc. So focus for me and naming it helps me stay accountable to myself.
  3. Daily Affirmation: I love these so much I do them when I wake up and before bed.  Affirmations are what or who I am even if some of it is still in the want stage and I’m not fully there believing it yet.  You have to be able to believe your affirmation is possible.  That is super important.  And they are always done from a positive voice.  Here are a few for you: I am perfect health, I am grounded & balanced, I am happy, I am lighter.
  4. Daily Meditation: Meditation doesn’t have to be what you think.  Meditation can rewire your brain.  Science is proving it.  You don’t have to sit if that isn’t your thing.  There are so many ways to make this work in your lifestyle.  I have worked with clients who meditate washing dishes, running, mowing the lawn and more.  This is about time for you.  Your mind will not shut off, but you will give your ego mind permission to quiet with gratitude so your heart and intuition can be heard more easily.  Those moments give you clarity, raise your vibe, can help you sleep, can help lower pressure and more.  Give yourself at least 3 minutes.  And when you have more time expand it longer.  For me, meditation smooth’s me out and raises my vibes.  The clarity I gain helps me see even more possibilities for situations.
  5. Daily Love of myself:  Daily love is naming 3 things you love about yourself.  I love my laugh, my eyes and my big heart.  This was harder for me in the beginning.  My eyes was the first thing I could name and it felt awkward at the beginning like I was conceited.  Yet, I easily complimented my friends and family, even strangers about themselves.  So struggle through this and don’t give up.  If you were meeting you, what would you love?
  6. Daily Body moving & self care: Get up off the sofa.  You don’t have to run a marathon or do a heavy work out.  Go for a walk around the block.  Walk at a swift pace through your house, the mall, a parking lot, etc.  Do yoga at home or in community.  Ask a friend to walk dogs with you, etc.  Park a little further away from the store and walk extra.  And then get dressed, shower and nourish your body.  Each of these things will raise your vibes.  Even if you start out stomping, the oxygen to your blood will help those happy endorphins begin to create in your body.

Whether your feeling stuck daily and doubting yourself daily or you just have moments.  These 6 extraordinary solutions will change your life if you are daring enough to commit and eager to feel better.

If you are one of those daring, eager and committed souls and you are ready move toward grabbing happiness by the arm everyday and leaving stuck, doubt and pain behind and maybe your ready to start a meditation practice or take yours up a notch, then we should talk.  Sign up for a complimentary call with me.  I want to know what you are ready to leave behind and what you are ready to walk through the door towards and how what I do can support and help you.

YES, I want to Heal My Sh#t, please call me (complete this form)