Most days I’m a sunshiny person. I sleep and wake up with a smile on my face, looking forward to embracing the day. Does that mean I don’t have days or moments where I’m unsure, feeling fear or doubt? NOPE. I was looking forward to this week anticipating a lot going on. From teaching new classes at a new location to a mini psychic fair to new clients to experiencing a Shamanic Journey and a visit with my mother in law (a good thing, I enjoy her).
Yet as we the week got closer I was concerned I may have stretched myself too thin. Then as the week was upon us, the turn out for my first class was far less than what I expected, ZERO. Ouch. That didn’t feel good.
And yet, I believe I am where I am supposed to be and while I was a bit disheartened I persisted. Then the mini psychic fair had a minimal turnout. I had a great time reading some of the other readers and getting to know them.
Yes, I do look for the silver lining in the cloud. And yet, Thursday I could tell I was feeling a little down. I sat with that uncomfortable feeling for an hour or so and let myself feel it. If I didn’t allow myself to feel it, I wouldn’t be real. And how could I help other people.
Being positive is not about ignoring feelings, but looking at them, acknowledging them, understanding them and allowing them to move on.
I am grateful I have such amazing and nurturing friends and family. I spoke with a friend and didn’t let on how I was feeling . I was shocked when she (out of the blue) spoke about all that I had been doing in the last 6 months. I had? It didn’t seem like it to me at the moment. Oh crap!
Another realization. 13 years ago I worked with a healer who helped me recognize I didn’t celebrate the little things, the accomplishments, etc unless the BIG GOAL had been met. I’ve worked on celebrating my little victories and accomplishments over the years and yet…here I was looking at something as I did 13 years ago.
I’m grateful for the realization. That reflection pushed me past how I was feeling. That and sharing with my mom how I was feeling and having her just listen and support me. It is amazing how much better I feel when I FEEL heard and how much I learn when I truly listen.
So here I am today sitting at Starbucks, doing a little writing before I go to teach another new class. I’m excited about what awaits me. I’m excited about what I’ve realized about myself this week. We all do it!!
Can I help making room for fear and doubt? Sometimes I can help it and sometimes I cannot. I’m grateful I can reflect and moved past it and for the support and love from my family and friends. And I’ll tell you this. I don’t have super human powers so what I can do. You can do too. And if you don’t know how or where to start, I’d love to help you. Give me a call and we can begin whether it be in person, on the phone or via Skype. My goal is to help other people figure this out and move forward in their lives happily (not to see me forever).
The spirit in me honors the spirit in you!! Have a beautiful and amazing weekend!!
Chakras (Ever feel like you are Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day?)