We took my son to see “Frozen” last weekend. The song “Let it Go” entranced me. http://youtu.be/moSFlvxnbgk
I connected so easily with the words as if someone was inside my inner soul reading my feelings (past and present)and writing this song. Have you ever experienced anything like that?
I identified with Elsa.
My past long ago I had been in my own” kingdom of isolation, and I was the Queen.” I had a “swirling storm inside, couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried”
What I couldn’t keep in and stuff came out as anger. For many years I held back and held so much inside stuffing my true feelings or letting the anger out like a tidal wave or avalanche of the most extreme part of my feelings. Yet mostly, I said, did, and appeared as what I believed everyone else expected. This way my brain believed I would fit in and be accepted and loved. I wore my inside sadness as Elsa wore her cloak.
“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know”
And then parts of the real me or my feelings began slipping out. I was so full and tired of stuffing. I made a choice to change the direction of my journey. It was not an overnight decision or process. I sought support and help from family, friends, my journal, loving professionals. I spent time and I touched those places I never wanted to look at or share. It was scary. Through my self reflection and healing, I began to let my feelings and the real me out like dipping a toe or two into a pool. This took time. I lost track of how many times I took a backwards step or thought I was done healing. Then life happened and I struggled and worked through it. One by one, I let go, releasing my wounds and learning from them so I could change the course of my life.
Being me , even partially, changed my circles and my playgrounds. And that didn’t always feel good. There were times I felt completely alone and during those times I learned I always have someone, ME. I became my own best friend.
“Well, now they know….
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway”
And as years passed, my gratitude for my experiences increased while the hold the emotions and pains had on me dissapated.
“It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all”
And then it was time to let the real me, my soul, out and soar. Be myself completely, unafraid of sharing who I am. Let myself be FREE!!
“It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free”
“Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay”
I feel empowered, full of love for myself and others. Not just love, ACCEPTANCE. I feel connected!
“My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past
Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway “
I’m grateful for my journey every single day and for my new theme song “Let it Go” from “Frozen” . I embrace who I am which allows others to embrace me. By no means is my life today perfect without any rollercoaster ups or downs. I learned the perfection in life is the imperfection. I choose to look at my hills and valleys differently MOST days. And when I forget, a song, a movie, my husband, my son, another loved one, a friend, a stranger, etc. will somehow remind me.
If you are struggling or feeling pain in any part of your life, I hope you decide to change the direction of your journey, embrace and face what is keeping you in the struggle or pain so you can heal it and let it go.
Sending you acceptance, hugs and loving energy….
Lovingly Lotus
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